The Vacation Hookup Rarely Lives Up to the Hype

Belinda decides to attend Gary aka Greg’s terribly boring party and is offered an unscrupulous party favor: $100,000 in exchange for minding her damn business about Greg’s whereabouts. (Certainly a tempting offer when your hot hookup just suggested opening a spa together!!) Laurie, who is medically unable to mind her own business, continues to dig a deep pity ditch that her old friends refuse to join her in. Jaclyn’s assessment of her old friend was like a stake to the heart. “If you always choose the short stick, is it bad luck? Are you life’s victim, or are you doing it to yourself?” she asks over a quickly downed glass of rosé. Laurie, refusing to reflect, dips out of dinner to attend the Muay Thai fight with Valentin and co. Rick and Frank make a visit to Sritala and Jim Hollinger’s lavish home, only for Rick’s big confrontation with his father’s alleged killer to turn into a slapstick routine when all he does is knock his chair over. By far, the biggest damage done was Frank’s relapse, which will certainly lead to more monologue fodder.

Speaking of monologue fodder, a few characters this season have their own experiences to mull over: hookups that lead to urgent soul searching. Most notably, brothers Saxon and Lachlan get a little too handsy in a drunken threesome with Chloe. But if episodes 6 and 7 weren’t upsetting enough, this week, Chloe, thinking Saxon is proud to wave such a prominent freak flag, asks if he’d be down for some cuckold play with Gary. Saxon’s demeanor by the end of these two consecutive nights is the polar opposite of the wannabe BDE bravado he put on at the beginning of the season. His laser focus on getting some ass and helping his brother get some ass on vacation was technically successful but spiritually broke both of them. One must be more specific when speaking a vacation hookup into existence.

Laurie’s mission to choose, or rather ride, a longer stick was almost successful. She manages to go home with Aleksei, one of Valentin’s tatted hunky Russian buds, and release some of that pent up palimony tension. But the post-nut clarity hit hard when Aleksei asked, nay, incessantly urged her to Venmo (or CashApp! or PayPal!) him $10,000 so that he could help out his mother back home. Laurie was saved from what could have become a violent situation when Aleksei’s belligerent girlfriend walked in on them and allowed Laurie the opportunity to sneak out the back window. Though not before getting a peek at a pile of jewelry that matched the items stolen from the resort earlier in the week. 

The vacation hookup is tenuous! The expectations of an erotic escape can blind a person to what they’re actually sucking and fucking on. Less awful sexual encounters this season include Jaclyn and Valentin, though Jaclyn seems to be using him to sort out other areas of discontent in her life. Belinda and Pornchai both consented to some seemingly good sex, but I think you can argue that theirs was less of a vacation hookup and more of an HR violation. And then Rick and Chelsea, the only long-term couple to have had onscreen sex so far, felt relatively enjoyable. I imagine sex is one of the few things tying their soul bond together. Some of these encounters, like between Laurie and Aleksei, explicitly further the whodunnit plot, but mostly they serve this season’s larger theme: No matter the ecstasy of momentary carnal bliss, these characters remain imprisoned in their forms. Sad!

Despite how rough it is to watch the Ratliff brothers relive their upsetting evening in flashbacks and how hurt I felt for Laurie as Aleksei turned her into an ATM, I appreciate the glaring depiction of bad vacation hookups. So much hype! So much fantasy! So much stuff to unpack with a therapist when they get back to the States.