This ‘Actors on Actors’ Is Truly the Wurst

"And all of a sudden, I see the weenie," Schwarzenegger said of his The White Lotus premiere reaction to...his son.

Celebrities
This ‘Actors on Actors’ Is Truly the Wurst

At this point, it’s established fact that I am an Actors on Actors enthusiast. From those that ditch, to those that bitch, it’s one of the only Hollywood institutions that I actually enjoy. That is, except for when the Schwarzeneggers are the subjects.

On Monday, Arnold and son, Patrick, were paired together for an interview that traversed a myriad of topics—from the Patrick’s upbringing on a film set to the pressure he says he feels about being a nepo baby of substance to his father’s audition history (spoiler alert: he’s supposedly only ever had to do it once). But no subject was quite as…stomach-churning as Arnold’s reaction to Patrick’s sizable debut in the Season 3 premiere of The White Lotus.

“I couldn’t believe [it],” the elder Schwarzenegger recalled of his reaction. “I said to myself, ‘I’m watching your show, and I’m watching your butt sticking out there. And all of a sudden, I see the weenie.'” Of all the things to call your adult son’s penis, he went with “the weenie”? Anyone else hearing it in his voice like I am right now?

What is going on here? This is crazy,” Arnold continued. “Then I said to myself, ‘Well, Arnold, hello. You did the same thing in ‘Conan’ and ‘Terminator,’ so don’t complain about it.’” But it was a shock to me that you were following my footsteps so closely.” Of course, if you weren’t already aware, Arnold is referring to that scene in The Terminator…

Frankly, in the pantheon of penis shots in The White Lotus, the younger Schwarzenegger barely ranks Top 5. Theo James? Jason Isaacs? Steve Zahn? Let’s have that conversation. And while we’re on the topic of The White Lotus, unfortunately, Patrick barely offered what we all really want: more details on whatever the hell was happening on set. He did, however, offer a very cute anecdote about a former co-star’s career advice.

“Carrie Coon came up to me a few weeks ago and was like, ‘Honey, you’ve got to do a different role next, because you’re doing a really good job at playing a douchebag, and people believe it,'” Patrick revealed before seeking some assurance from his dear old dad. “You got typecast [in films like ‘Terminator’] and then nobody would cast you for a comedy, right?” His answer: In short, no. Until Ivan Reitman and Danny DeVito pitched Twins.

Anyway, if Patrick could just drop his therapist’s details in the comments right now, that would be great!


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