A couple of weeks ago, Mark Zuckerberg—one of the richest idiots in the world—went on Joe Rogan’s podcast to complain that companies aren’t masculine enough anymore. “Masculine energy I think is good, and obviously society has plenty of that, but I think that corporate culture was really trying to get away from it,” he told Rogan in their three-hour conversation. “It’s one thing to say we want to be kind of like welcoming and make a good environment for everyone and I think it’s another to basically say that ‘masculinity is bad.’” I spent 2010 drowning my brain in Four Loko and I’m still not dumb enough to say something so stupid.
Anyway, if it wasn’t clear that he’s a whiny little bitch then, it’s crystal clear now. On Thursday, Zuckerberg held an “all-hands” meeting with more than 70,000 Meta employees where he whined about people leaking information.
“We try to be really open and then everything I say leaks,” Zuckerberg reportedly said. “It sucks.” Sad!
Zuckeybaby also told his employees to “buckle up” because 2025 is going to be a big year, especially as he embarks on his journey to keep slobbering at Trump’s feet. “I want to be clear, after the last several years, we now have an opportunity to have a productive partnership with the United States government,” he said. “We’re going to take that.” We’Re GoInG tO tAkE tHaT. Sorry, but I much preferred the Zuckerberg who banned Trump from Facebook and Instagram after the January 6 insurrection and who didn’t make his content moderators move from California to Texas—which has one of the country’s strictest abortion bans—in order to “remove the concern that biased employees are overly censoring content.”
“I think it’s the right thing to do because there are several areas, even if we don’t agree on everything, where we have common cause for things that are going to make it so that we can serve our community better,” he continued. “And we can advance the interests of our country together.” What the fuck is he even talking about?
After the meeting, a number of employees hilariously sent recorded audio of the hour-long conversation to the New York Times, Business Insider, and The Verge, leading Meta to reiterate that leaks are a no-no.
“We take leaks seriously and will take action,” Guy Rosen, Meta’s chief information security officer, wrote in an internal memo obtained by The Verge following the initial reports of the “all-hands” meeting. “When information is stolen or leaked, there are repercussions beyond the immediate security impact. Our teams become demoralized and we all waste time that is better spent working on our products and toward our goals and mission.” I don’t want to beat a dead horse here, but I’d argue a team would be much more demoralized by being forced to move from California to Texas.
What will Zuck whine about next?!
