Welcome back to Barf Bag, a subscriber-exclusive column. Here’s everything you get when you subscribe.
On Sunday, the Atlantic published a hilarious story that, in a different week, might have gotten a lot more attention. But this particular week was full of push alerts about tariffs, the stock market, and emergency court rulings on the legality of sending immigrants to a concentration camp in El Salvador without due process. So let me regale you with the tale of Secretary of the Interior Doug Burgum reportedly asking his political appointees to bake chocolate chip cookies and serve him lunch in front of guests.
Burgum, you may recall, is the billionaire former Governor of North Dakota and a failed GOP presidential candidate who offered $20 gift cards to people who donated to him so he could qualify for debate, but endorsed Donald Trump after dropping out in December 2023. Trump repaid his loyalty not by choosing him as his running mate—he was reportedly a veep finalist—or giving him a plum job like Secretary of State, but by selecting him to run the Department of the Interior, which manages the National Park Service plus the government’s relationship with Native tribes. Perhaps sensing that this was not a big enough role for Burgum, Trump also threw in a seat on the National Security Council and made him chair of the new National Energy Dominance Council.
The Interior Department is important, but it is nowhere near as fancy as some other agencies, as Burgum reportedly experienced firsthand. (Reminder that Burgum is one of at least 10 billionaires in the cabinet.) Larger departments have perks like multiple food service options and the use of government aircraft for official business, and Burgum has seemingly been trying to compensate for this.
The Atlantic reports that, shortly after Burgum was confirmed, he had lunch at the Treasury Department with Secretary Scott Bessent and Energy Secretary Chris Wright. They had a multi-course meal served by dedicated wait staff in a private dining room to entertain guests of the Treasury.
The only restaurant at the Interior’s headquarters closed during the pandemic and hasn’t reopened. So, before Burgum hosted a meeting with Wright and another official, his office instructed four political appointees to stage a similar lunch. “His office ordered catered food, and the political appointees plated it into multiple serving courses, and washed the dishes afterwards,” per the Atlantic report. “Concerns about the use of political appointees—who are supposed to be helping to run the department—to serve food to the secretary later reached the White House, two people said.”
It’s not just lunch: Burgum also reportedly has political staffers bake chocolate chip cookies. This request comes from chief of staff, JoDee Hanson, who’s worked with Burgum since he was a software entrepreneur and has told staffers that serving cookies is a tradition from Burgum’s time as governor. The cookies are made from store-bought dough, baked in “industrial ovens” at department headquarters, and served in a basket to guests and staff.
Burgum’s office also reportedly ordered “Eagle One,” a U.S. Park Police helicopter, to take him to Andrews Air Force Base to board Air Force One with Trump, instead of driving to the base, which takes 30 to 40 minutes. (His office said that Burgum’s security detail arranged the flight after a White House meeting threatened his ability to make the plane’s departure time.)
One source described Burgum as “Doug the diva.” Please enjoy these Trump officials’ responses to the Atlantic:
“He’s not demanding cookies, he’s not demanding a helicopter,” an Interior Department official told us in response. “It is antithetical to diva behavior.”
White House spokeswoman Anna Kelly similarly dismissed any concern when asked for a comment on this story. “Only The Atlantic could spin baking warm cookies for guests as a bad thing. Cold-hearted people!” she wrote to us in a statement. “Secretary Burgum is doing an outstanding job leading the Department of Interior.”
If only cabinet diva behavior were the worst problem facing us right now.
- Speaking of the Interior Department, Trump nominee Kathleen Sgamma withdrew her nomination to lead the Bureau of Land Management following revelations that she criticized Trump for inciting the January 6 insurrection. [Associated Press]
- Secretary of State Marco Rubio said in a court filing that the U.S. can deport legal residents like Columbia graduate Mahmoud Khalil even if they haven’t engaged in criminal conduct, essentially admitting they are targeting him for his beliefs. [Associated Press]
- The Trump administration is effectively canceling thousands of Social Security numbers that immigrants had lawfully obtained in an attempt to get them to leave the country. This could lead banks to cancel people’s bank accounts and credit cards, making it much harder to earn and spend money. [New York Times]
- It’s possible that multiple members of Congress did some insider trading right before Trump paused the worst of his tariffs. [Time/Associated Press]
- Attorney General Pam Bondi demoted the acting chief of the DOJ’s national security division after she saw portraits of Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and Merrick Garland still hanging in the department’s office. [Bloomberg Law]
- The head of a U.S. military base in Greenland was fired for being lightly critical of JD Vance‘s recent visit. [The Guardian]
- The state of Maine is suing the Agriculture Department for freezing funds for school lunch, which it says the administration did to retaliate against Gov. Janet Mills (D) standing up for trans kids in sports. [Erin in the Morning]
- Several White House officials say they won’t respond to reporters with pronouns in their email signatures. You can refer to those press aides as whiny/bitches. [New York Times]
This has been your weekly Barf Bag, thanks for reading!
GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX
Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.