Drunk Tour Guide on Her Last Day on the Job: 'Fuck the Chinese'

San Francisco is often referred to as a cultural melting pot, and many assume that people who are racist, sexist, heterosexist and all other manner of -ist just don’t live here. Unfortunately, a wonderful tour guide is here to prove the world wrong with her hate-filled rant about the Chinese,

Because I live in San Francisco, my first thought was to dismiss this video as some kind of shitty improv that had some kind of convoluted point. My second thought, after I tried to unsuccessfully convince myself there was no racism here (::bends over and smells own fart::), was that some people are just fucking awful. And this woman? She is awful.

Here are some highlights of why she thinks Chinatown sucks:

• People are loud.
• People eat food she doesn’t like.
• There are too many preschools.
• There are too many salons.
• It is smelly and dirty and stuff.
• FUCK YOUR DRAGONS.
• Racists live there.

OK, so the last one wasn’t really a complaint the tour guide made, but it’s one I’m making now (because she used to live there). Regardless of context (and if this is satire, it is some painfully bad satire), talking badly about an entire race of people is just fucked up. And why the hell would someone who seems to hate other ethnicities so much even become a tour guide? What would she say about Japantown (“there are just so many of them and they all talk like they’re in an anime and it is fucking annoying! GOODBYE KITTY!”) or The Sunset (“EVERYONE HERE RUSSIAN AND TALK LIKE THIS AND HAVE RBF AND EAT SMELY FISH”)? Also: People are going to do shit you don’t like no matter where you live. I once lived with a woman who would vacuum my door in the middle of the night. That’s just how people are: Hella annoying regardless of race, socieoconomic status, creed or sexual orientation. And also, Chinatown is a hella convenient area to live.

One of the best things about San Francisco is that we have microhoods (I know, sorry) where people of different cultures, races and ethnicities can keep up some of the pracices they brought with them to America. And if some people don’t want to assimilate, that’s their business. You don’t get to scream “fuck Chinatown” just because you don’t like it. And tourists? Please don’t applaud this kind of thing. And don’t scream along with her. It just makes it worse.

I guess it’s good that the video points out that this is the tour guide’s last working day because at least it’s an accurate prediction of this woman’s future career prospects. (Unless she moves back to LA, where the Chinatown is much cleaner.)