Can you feel it in the air? The scrambling of sycophants? The criminally low wages of workers? The first Monday in May is upon us, folks. On May 5, the Met Gala will once again convene captains of industry and the famous capitalists they call friends at the Metropolitan Museum of Art for an evening of dresses, dancing, and not a single scruple about celebrating their influence and immense wealth amid an ongoing genocide and a fascist dictatorship.
While I don’t care much for this godforsaken event brought to you by scores of overextended, underpaid employees, I do delight in the frivolous gossip that accompanies it. Who’s wearing what? How many people elbowed their way into the infamous bathroom selfie this year? Did Zendaya annihilate the competition again? You get it.
This year, the theme is “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style,” with the dress code, “Tailored for You.” On the host committee are André 3000, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Jordan Casteel, Dapper Dan, Ayo Edebiri, Edward Enninful, Jeremy O. Harris, Branden Jacobs-Jenkins, Rashid Johnson, Spike Lee, Tonya Lewis Lee, Audra McDonald, Janelle Monáe, Jeremy Pope, Angel Reese, Sha’Carri Richardson, Tyla, Usher and Kara Walker. And if you thought it couldn’t be more star-studded, the honorary chair is Lebron James, and the co-chairs are Colman Domingo, Lewis Hamilton, A$AP Rocky, and Pharrell Williams. Why lie? Of course, I’ll be shamelessly scrolling all available social media platforms.
Newer confirmations to the guestlist include Doechii, Shakira, Lizzo, and Mary J. Blige, and according to Page Six, invitations have been extended to more athletes this year (*cue Kardashian joke here*). Reportedly among them? UConn basketball star and NCAA champion Paige Bueckers. And just like that, Anna Wintour ensured the queer audience for another year.
Perhaps more interesting, though, is who isn’t coming. According to Page Six, former Met mainstays, Gisele Bündchen, Blake Lively, and Ryan Reynolds are forgoing “Fashion’s Night Out.” While I imagine Bündchen will just be busy being beautiful and free on a yacht somewhere, the couple’s decision to skip is more of a mystery. However, it apparently has “nothing” to do with their dueling lawsuits with Justin Baldoni, per TMZ. OK!
Also absent from the carpet will be Rachel Zegler, who is said to be in rehearsals for Evita in London. As much as I would love to see Zegler in a fabulous, “fuck-you” gown after being personally blamed for Snow White bombing at the box office, I’m happy she has something better to do.
Slight spoilers for The White Lotus below.
- With James Corden as host, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Lizzo, and the all-female space crew as attendees, and 2020-era jokes on the menu, was the Breakthrough Plaza gala the most cursed event in Hollywood??? [Page Six]
- Michelle Williams had a close encounter with a bare foot on a recent flight. [TMZ]
- Outtakes from Russell Brand‘s 2011 bomb, Arthur, have been offered as evidence in another sexual assault allegation against him in New York. [Variety]
- Ed Sheeran has replaced FKA Twigs in this year’s Coachella lineup due to the latter’s visa issues. [Daily Mail]
- “Crackers” aka Prince William and Prince Harry‘s former bodyguard, has died. Could this unite the estranged brothers for good??? [Us Weekly]
- In “we should all know less about each other” news: Damon Wayans Sr. willingly admitted to falling in love with his nephew’s ex-girlfriend. [People]
- Cassandra “Cassie” Ventura will testify against Sean “Diddy” Combs in his forthcoming sex-trafficking trial. [Just Jared]
- Walton Goggins on that Shakespearean double death in The White Lotus finale: “With the heaviest of hearts…To me, ours was a love story.” Mike White, you bastard. [New York Post]
- Meanwhile, Jason Isaacs on the Ratliff family’s conclusion: “I doubted them and they will be fine, they just won’t be fine in gigantic houses with huge Tesla trucks.” [The Hollywood Reporter]
