I’m Hungry for Meatier ‘White Lotus’ Dinner Conversations

Episode three is still busy setting up the big questions and not offering us many answers. Why is Rick so fucking antsy unless he is around snakes and then seems to tap into his ability to feel sympathy for the first time in his life? Is Lachlan in love with his brother or maybe his sister or maybe is he the only normal person in the Ratliff family and the looking-at-his-brother’s-butt was just a weird one-off thing? Will Belinda realize that Greg, sorry, “Gary,” is a lying piece of wife-killing shit and that he is gaslighting her? (Also why is Greg hanging out at the resort franchise his now-dead wife loved to frequent? We’ve got to introduce him to TripAdvisor…) The only interaction I was wholly satisfied with this episode was the trio discovering over dinner that Kate “I’m an independent” from Austin most definitely voted for Trump. But upon her insistence, the topic was dropped.  

An oft-remarked objection about the suspended reality of The White Lotus is that the guests only ever dine at the resort’s singular restaurant. This was most glaring in season 2’s Sicilian location—since you’d imagine Western tourists would rather dabble in the local culinary scene. Was there no Michelin-starred eatery down the piazza they could go to and then brag about to their friends back home? Alas, penning up all the guests in one glorified school cafeteria keeps the drama penned up as well. However, this season it doesn’t feel like we’re getting much of a food fight.

So far, our age-gap duos have been on two double dinner dates from hell, and have said maybe five words to one another in total. During Sunday night’s episode, when Belinda asked Greg if he was indeed Greg, it was the most chatter that whole crew has ever engaged in. The silence made my skin crawl. Why do Chelsea and Chloe keep insisting that their non-verbal balding boyfriends eat dinner together? Why aren’t the two of them at least gabbing while Rick and Greg push their food around their plate like mopey middle-aged teenagers? And when we see just Chelsea and Rick dining together, he continues his schtick as the world’s hangriest man (full stomach be damned) while she nourishes her slender body from the weariness of continuously dodging death.

Meanwhile, momma Ratliff is filling up her tummy so she can take her next dose of Lorazepam. We get some classic sibling bickering between Saxon and Piper, but nothing more titillating or memorable than Saxon practicing flexing his pecs. I’m waiting for one of them to call out their mother’s extended stay in the valley of the dolls while she slurps her soup. We did get Victoria and Kate’s bizarre baby shower interaction last episode and this week Saxon and Chloe made eyes at one another across the dining room, but those have been droplets of water when what I want is the full carafe. 

In seasons past I’ve gotten excited about dinnertime; licked my lips and salivated in anticipation of the juicy exchanges that went down over beef carpaccio or a bowl of fresh local fruit: Aubrey Plaza and Meghann Fahy’s delightful disconnectedness; Molly Shannon crashing her son’s honeymoon; the Di Grasso men discussing the perfect amount of respect women deserve. I’m hungry for more of that this season. Please, Mike White, give me a heaping plate of tense conversation with a side order of nasty confrontations.

So far, the closest we’ve come to a full meal is the trio of blondes who use their dinners to laugh, encourage libidinous flings, and gather up intel for their late-night gossip sessions.  But the widening gap of what they can’t discuss—Kate’s politics, Jaclyn’s husband and fame, Laurie’s career and divorce—is about to swallow them whole. Maybe I’m being too gluttonous, but I hope The White Lotus dinnertime drama and exchanges I’ve come to love show back up on the menu.