Leonardo DiCaprio Pivots to Being ‘Just Friends’ With 20-Something Models

Nothing is certain in this world besides death, taxes, and a young woman still on her parents’ health insurance being in close proximity to Leonardo DiCaprio. The actor’s notoriety for dissolving romantic relationships with women before the clock strikes midnight on their 25th birthday is well-trodden fodder for tabloids, Jezebel included.

But the media, you see, it evolves. Having the distinct pleasure of reading celebrity gossip from the moment I awake until I fall asleep with my iPhone hovering an inch from my face, I’ve noticed a slight change of pattern with how these sites are speculating on Leo’s lady friends. They are just that: friends!

On Monday, Page Six ran the headline, “Shirtless Leonardo DiCaprio, 48, pictured on yacht in Ibiza with another young model pal.” Megan Roche is the 22-year-old “young model pal” in question, and the piece immediately clarified that she is actually dating one of Leo’s friends. Not him. In case you needed that reiterated, these were the captions to the accompanying photos:

• “A source tells Page Six that DiCaprio and Roche are not dating.”
• “Leonardo DiCaprio enjoyed a yacht day in Ibiza with a group of friends including Meghan Roche.”
• “Roche is 22 years old.”
• “The model was seen showing PDA with her boyfriend, a friend of DiCaprio’s, before boarding the yacht.”

The lady (Page Six) doth protest too much, if you ask me!! This coverage feels like an elaborate way of communicating, “I’m not not saying that, but…” That being said, the pap photos do really make it seem like Roche is with Leo’s friend, who is of unknown age (to me).

Last week, Page Six ran another story in a similar vein: “Leonardo DiCaprio, 48, dines with 28-year-old British model Neelam Gill, his mom, more in London.” New girlfriend, you might wonder? Well, obviously not because she is 28 but also further into the story, we learn that “while DiCaprio is known to romance young, beautiful women, a source tells Page Six that [Neelam] Gill is not dating the actor, but rather one of his friends, who also attended the dinner.”

In December, Leo’s team had to clarify that he was not dating 23-year-old Victoria Lamas, whom he was spotted driving around. Nothing to see here, just a grown man and his good friend, a 23-year-old.

There are a few things happening her that I want to detangle. First, any woman between the age of 19 and “can rent a car” within a 2-mile radius of Leo must be assumed to be a potential girlfriend, a curse which he has brought upon himself. We humans are nothing if not pattern seekers!

What I can’t decide is if Leo is genuinely friends with these 20-somethings or if this is just his camp’s latest spin on his inability to be romantically interested in women whose frontal lobe is fully developed. If it’s the former, I can’t help but feel that that is also strange—if not maybe stranger—than him romantically (or sexually) pursuing them. What is he talking about with these 22-year-olds? What do I have to talk about with 22 year olds? I never thought I’d say it, but we need to get the Pussy Posse back together—get Leo some friends his own age.

It’s an interesting development in the dating coverage of one of our most beloved yacht dwelling celebrities; one I will be watching closely, from dawn to dusk, as my own life passes by me.