Martha Stewart and Michael Cera Are Hanging Out Without You


In today’s edition of Tweet Beat, Martha Stewart is day-drinking with Michael Cera, Mario Lopez should probably just name his next child #BabyLopezNumber2 (it has a nice ring to it!), and James Deen and Azealia Banks reflect on the appropriation of “ratchet culture” — but Miley Cyrus maybe has last laugh on this one?

Michael Vera and I will be on letterman tonight wow. He looks the same as in the movies
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) July 8, 2013
Michael cera actually served me sake in a paper cup. How hospitable
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) July 8, 2013
So, my wife @courtneymlopez & I want your help choosing a name for #BabyLopezNumber2. Please tweet me your suggestions @onwithmario !
— Mario Lopez (@MarioLopezExtra) July 8, 2013
What is “twerking”… I don’t think I want to ever “twerk it”… What is “it” and why does it need “twerking”??? Is “it” bath salts?
— James Deen (@JamesDeen) July 8, 2013
no but seriously can this weird obsession white girls are having with being “ratchet” go away???..
… its actually rather embarrassing.
Call it what you want. But I don’t see Mr. Carter shoutin any of you bitches out. #twerkmileytwerk
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) July 8, 2013
Pacific Rim is not a film it’s a move. For someone you really love.
— Russell Brand (@rustyrockets) July 8, 2013
Just when I think the chaos in Egypt sounds like the worst thing happening, I go and use @apple maps.
— taran killam (@TaranKillam) July 8, 2013
A realistic Applebee’s commercial would show a collection of recently divorced dads blankly staring at the bar’s televisions.
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) July 8, 2013
You compete me.
— bob saget (@bobsaget) July 8, 2013
It’s night 3 of my brain imagining the awful sensation of biting into 1 of those green blocks u stick fake flowers into & I can’t stop it
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) July 8, 2013
Holy shit it’s happening. I’m hearing my song on the radio. Every music biopic ever has taught me this will lead to drugs and madness #sweet
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 8, 2013
he ❤️’s his dinosaur outfit.
— ke$ha (@keshasuxx) July 8, 2013
U basically need a degree in psychology to maintain healthy relationships
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) July 8, 2013
Have you used Google Hangout? What do you think of it?
— Boyz II Men (@BoyzIIMen) July 8, 2013
Barack Obama and Michelle Obama are ugly!
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) July 8, 2013
My wife totally gets that during sex I need to hear the guy from Wii Sports Resort wakeboarding saying “Yeah! Wow! Nice!”
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) July 8, 2013
i hope kanyes APC jeans are giant flared out JNcO style florida rave pants or im not buying them
— lil mufasa (@diplo) July 8, 2013
I’m looking out at my lawn right now. It’s so beautiful in the morning sun, even with some crabgrass here and there. I’m grateful. ;^}
— Jim Carrey (@JimCarrey) July 8, 2013
I bet the worst part of the era when bayonets were popular was being bayoneted or hearing someone you had sex with refer to you as “a pal.”
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) July 8, 2013
That fleeting moment when I pick up a guitar where I’m like “is it possible I’ll just kind of know how play this really well?”
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) July 8, 2013
.@S_C_ Are we really pushing our Illuminati lunch meeting for you to do this Twitter Q and A?
— Aziz Ansari (@azizansari) July 8, 2013
The heat index in NYC is 105. The frizz index is Bozo the Clown. Even annoying people have quit saying “Hot enough for you?”
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) July 8, 2013
The L.A. Zoo is the rudest ever. I waved to all the animals, and not a SINGLE one waved back. #YelpReview
— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) July 8, 2013

Images via Getty.

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