At this point, details are sadly scarce. But given Holmes is practically walking, talking satire, I think we can all use our imagination as to what the finished product might look like. Some inspiration, however, might very well come from the fact that in recent weeks, Holmes has been mounting what appears to be a rehabilitation campaign in the press.
Earlier this month, Holmes appealed her sentence in the hopes of overturning her 2022 fraud conviction. The filing hinged on Holmes’ attorneys’ argument that prosecutors presented testimony from Theranos’ final lab director that was “infected with error” during the four-month proceedings and that the man was never properly vetted by the judge as an expert. The solution, according to her representation? That the conviction be overturned in lieu of a new trial. That appeal, however, was denied.
“I am more determined than ever to fight for my freedom,” Holmes told People in response to the news. “And I know that when the truth finally comes out I will be proven innocent.”
And in February, when Holmes appeared on the cover of People, she told the magazine that despite the “hell and torture” she’s currently -living in, she has continued to work on her research and inventions and remains “completely committed” to “affordable healthcare solutions.” Quick reminder that the doctors and patients who testified in her 2022 trial made it pretty plain Holmes is unequipped to do that. One patient was told he might have prostate cancer. He didn’t. Another was informed she’d had a miscarriage. She was actually pregnant and would go on to have a healthy baby.
In addition to her “work,” Holmes has reportedly formed a friendship with fellow detainee and former Real Housewife of Salt Lake City, Jennifer Shah. The inmates were recently photographed pumping iron together, and back in September 2023, Shah’s representative, Chris Giovanni, told People that Shah and Holmes had bonded over the former’s “Shah-mazing abs” classes.
“They’re friends. They’re both rehabilitating and have bonded over being on this journey of positive change,” Giovanni said at the time. “Their situations brought them together, and they have a good understanding of one another. They’re getting through it together.”
Frankly, if this isn’t enough material for Fielder, I don’t know what is.
- Interesting that Rachel Zegler is being publicly pilloried for ruining Snow White—in part, for being vocally anti-genocide—but Gal Gadot, who…isn’t, is going largely unscathed. [Page Six]
- According to sources, Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater are getting married this year. [Daily Mail]
- Kim Kardashian admitted to financing her own engagement ring in her marriage to Kris Humphries. You’d have to waterboard that information from me but, OK! [People]
- Tamra Judge isn’t quitting the Real Housewives of Orange County, after all. Insert shock here. [Us Magazine]
- Joan Baez during her cameo on Everybody’s Live With John Mulaney: “We’re all here to be silly and have fun, and as long as we recognize the fact that our democracy is going up in flames…we’re being run by a bunch of really incompetent billionaires.” [Variety]
- Drew Starkey in Haim‘s “Relationships” video? I am gazing respectfully. [Just Jared]
- Jason Isaacs on Mike White‘s penchant for men on the White Lotus hanging (fake) dong: “Look, he’s trying to right the balance of how many naked women I’ve seen growing up on every television show and film.” [The Hollywood Reporter]
- I have to know the line that drove Robert Pattinson to the brink and forced Zendaya to save him. [IndieWire]