Puppy Bowl Half Time Show Features Musical Superstar Katty Furry

By Night Editor | February 2, 2015 | 2:00am

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Puppy Bowl fever took over America today as millions of non-NFL fans and all three of the Green Bay Packers’ fans sought a way to avoid watching Tom Brady’s smug handsome face playing football.

The Cat Overlords used their substantial power over mainstream media to get their most commercial star, Katty Furry, the coveted Puppy Bowl half-time show slot. But I sincerely doubt anyone cleared this god-awful wig/costume with their representatives before the show. All I can think is the cat wearing that damn wig is so, so, so fucking pissed right now. “HOW DARE YOU HUMILIATE ME IN THIS FASHION. THERE WILL BE COLD, ROCK HARD DEPOSITS OF MY FECES IN ALL OF YOUR SHOES TONIGHT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.”