Quit Trying to Make the 'War on Easter' Happen


Apparently unsatisfied with only Yuletide declarations of being warred upon, Fox News is now trying to convince its perpetually oppressed white, male, elderly, Christian audience that another Christian holiday is Under Attack: Easter. Hey guys, get down from that cross! There’s already another guy up there!

Fox’s War against or on Easter chyron isn’t new; basically any time anyone vocally objects to Christians displaying expressly Christian religious objects on or in public property our demonstrates their objection to Christian religious displays, the right wing media’s brain stem response is to claim the world is against them and start comparing themselves to soldiers and Holocaust/rape victims (it’s almost like they want to be the victims of persecution! Almost like pretending they’re constantly put-upon is a part of their identity!) Here’s a shot from last year’s War On Or About Easter graphicstravaganza:

What’s ridiculous about this WAR ON is that if the WAR ON CHRISTMAS rhetoric wasn’t already dead, it certainly got the shit murdered out of it by Megyn Kelly’s “Santa is white” comment and Megyn Kelly’s “You guys don’t understand Megyn Kelly’s jokes about white Santa” follow up last December. I’m surprised to see a coordinated doubling down on something so ridiculous. But, you know. We live in a nutty world.

This year’s WAR ON OR AGAINST EASTER is happening mostly in the Wisconsin state capitol, where the comically-named Concerned Women For America erected an Easter display that included Christian propaganda and anti-abortion materials, a hearkening to the beloved Christian Easter tradition of dressing up in Jesus cosplay and throwing colorfully dyed eggs at the local abortion clinic. In response (and likely to point out the ridiculousness of allowing religious displays on public property in light of the whole “separation of church and state” thing), the group Freedom From Religion erected a display of their own that features a nose-tweaking sign that reads “Nobody died for our ‘sins.’ Jesus Christ is a myth.” WAR ON OR AGAINST EASTER!

In Chicago, the same group has erected a big poster advertising the secular views of John Adams and Thomas Jefferson reminding passers by that the Constitution’s Establishment Clause mandates the separation between Church and State. On this morning’s Fox & Friends, one of the show’s Concerned Moms spoke of it that characterized the signage not only as a WAR ON EASTER, but an UNHOLY WAR ON EASTER. Someone high five the brilliant PA who came up with that one.

Meanwhile, another front in the War on Easter is being fought by Muslims in Michigan, according to Todd Starnes at Fox Nation. He writes,

Muslim moms and dads in Dearborn, Mich. are upset after students received flyers promoting an Easter Egg hunt at a local Presbyterian church. The parents say the egg hunt violates the U.S. Constitution.
The Muslims told the Detroit Free-Press that they were concerned about the religious implications of Cherry Hill Presbyterian Church’s “Eggstravaganza!” They were also troubled by images of a bunny rabbit.

Wow, what a crazy story! Too bad it’s not exactly, uh…. true. The actual incident went more like this: public school teachers handed out flyers for a church-sponsored Easter Egg hunt at a public school in Dearborn, Michigan, a city with a sizable Muslim population. Some of the recipients of the flyers told their father that they were uncomfortable that public school public school teachers were distributing pamphlets promoting church-sponsored events. Nobody said the egg hunt violated the US Constitution, and no one is scared of a fucking bunny rabbit. What was troubling for parents was the fact that teachers were implicitly promoting a church sponsored event.

Actually, after reading both of these accounts, I can see how what’s happening to Christians in America is kind of like what’s happening to the people of Syria. Took a little convincing but I totally get it now.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about do declare was on this chocolate bunny. Head first. It’s more humane that way.

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