Rude PDA on the Subway, Ranked from RUDE to VERY RUDE
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Trains are often thought of as romantic places; in trains, beautiful humans have intrigues and kiss each other and cry and eat croissants or whatever. Subways, though, are different story. Subway travel is train travel’s depraved little brother who owns The Wicker Man (Nic Cage version) on Blu-ray and pees in a Fanta bottle that he keeps under his bed because he’s too lazy to get up and use the bathroom like a normal person.
Subway PDA, similarly, is gross. According to the BBC, Austrian transit company Wiener Linien has produced a short, educational film about things that one should not do on the subway, such as picking your nose, eating smelly food, pooping your basketball shorts (I made this example up but it’s worth saying), and “kissing untamed.”
“A kiss on the cheek is fine in public but a kiss on the lips, especially with the tongue, is not a correct behaviour because it is such an intimate act,” says William Hanson, an etiquette and protocol consultant for the company. Ugh, fine, William. Weird that you would be so stodgy, seeing as you work for a company called Wiener Linien.
William does have a point, even though he sounds like the most boring man in the world. PDA is very rude when you are all squashed up in a metal container hurtling through a pile of rats and dirt. With that in mind, I’ve compiled a ranking of RUDE PDA, in order of ascending rudeness.
Subway PDA, Ranked from RUDE to VERY RUDE:
1. Doing lil’ peck kisses. Those are cute! I bet people kiss their grandma like that. But I don’t want strangers doing it near my face.
2. Having sex with yourself very, very covertly while eating a gyro Anna Breslaw did this, and it seems like the only person she pestered was herself.