Trump’s $5 Million Golden Visa Has His Big Dumb Face on It

Barf Bag: The President may have launched us into a recession this week, but hey, at least the Treasury can make money off some rich people!

By Susan Rinkunas  |  April 4, 2025 | 5:32pm
Photo: YouTube Politics
Trump’s $5 Million Golden Visa Has His Big Dumb Face on It

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This week, President Donald Trump reminded us that there is a type of immigrant he supports: A rich one.

Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, our sweaty leader showed off what he’s calling the “gold card“—like a green card, but for people who have too much money.

The administration announced in February that this card would essentially replace the current EB-5 Immigrant Investor Program, which gives lawful permanent resident status to investors, their spouse, and any children under 21, at least if the investor spent at least $900,000 and created 10 full-time jobs. Such investment-backed visas are referred to as “golden visas,” so of course, Trump—a man who has a gold-drenched penthouse—is just outright calling them that.

“We’re going to be selling a gold card. You have a green card, this is a gold card,” Trump said at the time. “That’s going to give you green card privileges plus.” He claimed that not only would the cards bring wealthy people to the U.S., but that the revenue could be used to pay down the national debt. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick said in late March that the government had sold 1,000 cards in a single day.

But Thursday was the first time anyone saw the thing, and, unsurprisingly, the card has his big dumb face on it, alongside the Statue of Liberty, a bald eagle, and his cursed signature. And he was hawking it like a vacuum salesman to a group of people who are, I must emphasize, journalists covering the president. “For $5 million, this could be yours. That was the first of the cards. You know what that card is? It’s the Gold Card, the Trump Card, Gold Card,” Trump said.

A reporter asked, “Who is the first buyer?” Trump shot back immediately with a lie: “Me.”

Here’s a clip:

Trump holding up a gold card with his face on it: For $5 million, this can be yours

— Acyn (@acyn.bsky.social) 2025-04-03T21:40:29.179Z

Thursday was of course the first day his administration’s reciprocal tariffs went into effect, and the stock market shat the bed that morning. So it’s whiplash-inducing to hear the president advertising a citizenship program for the 1%.

A reporter asked him to weigh in on the market reaction and he said everything would turn out OK. “It’s gonna be a booming country, a very booming country. It’s going be amazing actually,” Trump replied. “We see it because we have trillions of dollars committed to come in.”

Can’t wait until U.S. currency bears his face and is made yellow.

Trump-related barf:

  • Even Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) said tariffs are “a tax on consumers.” But will he do anything to block them?? [Mediaite]
  • The White House is reportedly studying the cost of taking over Greenland, which people in Greenland very much do not want. [Washington Post]
  • The White House has directed the National Institutes of Health to study regret after transgender people transition. As one sociologist rightly noted, “An honest effort to study regret after transition would be asking why regret is so low and what that means about the profound barriers to transition.” [Nature/Bluesky]
  • The team of National Security Adviser Mike Waltz reportedly set up more than 20 group chats on Signal, the platform on which he and a bunch of other idiots discussed bombing Yemen in a breach of security protocol and federal recordkeeping laws. [Politico]
  • Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. suggested that about 20% of the agency’s mass layoffs could have been mistakes and need to be corrected. Let’s hope he brings back the people who were working on a response to the bird flu. [CBS/Reuters]
  • Headline: “Trump Agrees to Meet With Bill Maher as a Favor to Kid Rock” [The Wrap]

Non-Trump barf:

  • Days after Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) gave a record-breaking, 25-hour speech on the Senate floor about American values and resisting Trump, he voted against limiting arms sales to the Israeli government. [Democracy Now]
  • After a federal judge dropped charges against New York City Mayor Eric Adams, Adams held up a copy of a book written by Trump sycophant and FBI Director Kash Patel. [Gothamist]
  • Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) is trying to loosen child labor laws to address worker shortages caused by deportations. [The Guardian]
  • Speaking of Ron, taxpayer-funded staffers in his office have been making calls to raise money for a DeSantis-aligned PAC that, conveniently, his wife Casey could use if she runs for Governor! [NBC News]

This has been your weekly Barf Bag, thanks for reading! 

 
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