Welcome to Would U?, an academic forum in which I share my gross crush of the week and ask if you, too, would bang that person.
Miguel, sexy crooner and owner of one gleaming, rock-hard torso, posted the following confusing image to Instagram Wednesday:
He captioned it, “Because who doesn’t like minions.” Hello, Miguel, first of all, plenty of people, probably! I, for one, am not completely sure what they are! But also, one doesn’t have to dislike minions to be uncomfortable with how close they are to Miguel’s crotch hole. It feels unnatural. They look unhappy. Get them out of there!
…which leads me, inevitably, to this: Would you have sex with Miguel if there were two minions in the room, hopping around and giggling at you? Squealing at each other in their weird little language? Poking your sweaty, entwined bodies at various intervals, just to see how you’ll react? I would!
The staff of Jezebel, however, is deeply divided:
Kate: Absolutely not.
Erin: Yes.
Hillary: Tough call.
Jia: 100%. I can just close my eyes.