This week brought the nauseating news that two of the most sanctimonious women in politics are running for statewide office: Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R) for governor of Tennessee and Rep. Nancy Mace for governor of South Carolina. Mace, for one, has been threatening to do this since January.
Mace wrote in a post announcing her candidacy: “God’s not done with South Carolina and neither am I.” Blackburn said in a launch video, “I’m ready to deliver the kind of conservative leadership that will ensure our state is America’s conservative leader for this generation and the next.”
Let’s start with Marsha. This is a woman who, in 2022, referred to Griswold v. Connecticut, a fundamental Supreme Court privacy case that established the right for married couples to use birth control as “constitutionally unsound.” Yet she had the nerve later that year to tweet support for Iranian women as if she were some kind of feminist champion. She also spewed noxious bile at Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson during her confirmation hearing, claiming that “biological women” are being treated like second-class citizens and that there are more restrictions on buying a gun than there are on getting an abortion.
Here is a real tweet from Blackburn:
The Constitution grants us rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness – not abortions.
— Sen. Marsha Blackburn (@MarshaBlackburn) March 23, 2022
[It reads: “The Constitution grants us rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness – not abortions.”]
She also said universal daycare is Soviet-style communism and defended the honor of Neanderthals after former President Joe Biden said in March 2021 that it was “Neanderthal thinking” for people to believe they didn’t need to wear masks anymore.
Now onto Nancy. Where to begin, really? I suppose one could start with the fact that she used to paint herself as something of a moderate after she was first elected in 2020, and even criticized President Donald Trump for January 6.
The day after the attacks, she told CNN, “Everything that he’s worked for … all of that, his entire legacy, was wiped out yesterday.” A few days later, she toldThe Hill: “We have to hold the president accountable for what happened. The rhetoric leading up to this vote, the lies that were told to the American people – this is what happens, rhetoric has real consequences. And people died.” Trump endorsed her primary rival in 2022, but by January 2024, Mace had come around and endorsed Trump’s third run for president over former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley.
But she’s become…unwell since at least 2023, when she opened a prayer breakfast, saying she could’ve been at home fucking her fiancé, and then she donned a Scarlet Letter tank top after voting to oust former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy. In the summer of 2024, the sexual assault survivor claimed she was “rape shamed” after endorsing Trump, and that fall, after Sarah McBride became the first out transgender person elected to Congress, Mace introduced a Capitol bathroom ban to bully her.
So far in 2025, she has used her Congressional Twitter account to mock a transgender teacher, called her own constituents “ugly,” “nasty,” and “completely evil,” and appeared to share a nude photo of herself during a House subcommittee hearing, allegedly to gain protections for survivors of nonconsensual recording. Late last month, she said the following to Fox News: “One of my favorite things to watch on YouTube these days are the court hearings where illegals are in court and ICE shows up to drag them out of court to deport them.”
These women need therapy, not control of state governments.
Trump-related barf:
Health Secretary Robert. F Kennedy Jr. canceled $500 million in contracts and grants to develop mRNA vaccines for the flu and covid. [New York Times]
The National Park Service announced that officials will reinstall a Washington, DC, statue of a Confederate general that protesters toppled in June 2020. [Mother Jones]
The military branches are kicking out transgender servicemembers, and the Air Force said it would deny members who’ve served 15 to 18 years the option to retire early—effectively cheating them out of their retirement benefits. [Associated Press]
Attorney General Pam Bondi, FBI Director Kash Patel, Vice President JD Vance had a little meeting on Wednesday to discuss what the fuck to do about the ongoing Jeffrey Epstein debacle. [CNN]
Even Bureau of Prisons staffers think it’s crazy that Epstein accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell got transferred to a minimum security prison camp. [NBC News]
Newly unearthed video from the January 6 attacks shows Jared Wise, a senior adviser for the Department of Justice, urging rioters to kill cops. [NPR]
The State Department wants to require people seeking business and tourist visas to post a bond of up to $15,000 to enter the U.S. because Trump is obsessed with people allegedly overstaying their visas. [Associated Press]
In other cursed visa news, the Department of Homeland Security will not issue visas to transgender women traveling to the U.S. to compete in elite women’s sporting events. [NBC News]
Trump is thinking of fucking around with the New York City mayor’s race to try to stop Democratic nominee Zohran Mamdani. [New York Times]
The National Weather Service is hiring back some of the 450 employees DOGE made the agency fire. So efficient! [CNN]
Headline: “Apple made a 24k gold and glass statue for Donald Trump.” [The Verge]
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) has asked Trump to pardon former Congressman George Santos, who recently reported to federal prison. [Axios]
Trump ghoul Stephen Miller’s wife Katie Miller is launching a podcast. She left her job working for Elon Musk to do this. [Axios]
Non-Trump barf:
Supreme Court Justice and whiny Fox News grandpa Samuel Alito will release a book next year. Wish he wouldn’t. [CNN]
Reigning Miss United States Lindsey Langston accused Rep. Cory Mills (R-Fla.) of threatening to release nude videos of her after she broke off their relationship. Mills was recently facing eviction over $85,000 in unpaid rent, but that’s apparently settled. [Politico]
A Republican woman running for state senate in Arizona, Mylie Biggs, said one year ago that she didn’t think women should hold political office. “I don’t know if I would vote for any female,” said the daughter of Rep. Andy Biggs (R-Ariz). “I think women should run the home.” [Phoenix New Times]
This has been your weekly Barf Bag, thanks for reading!