"How Do I Tell My Mom That I Am A Stripper?"
Jessica here! In honor of the publication of the book collecting emails, texts and IMs from mothers I co-wrote with Doree Shafrir, Love, Mom, here are our own mothers’ answers to your mom-related questions.
Q: How do I develop confidence that I will be a good mom?
Doree’s Mom: There’s no magic good mom potion, but as long as you realize what you don’t want to be, you’re honestly on the right track.
Q: How do I get my mom to stop obsessing over my ex-boyfriend and realize that some of the guys I pick will not be up to her standards?
Jessica’s Mom: Your mother doesn’t seem to have empathy for your feelings. Set her down, explain that she is hurting you – don’t do this in an argument or reactively. Do this quietly at a time when you can really make your case. After that, if she persists, you have to give it up. If she will not give your new boyfriends a chance, then you are spinning your wheels for no good end.
Q: How do I tell my mom that I am a stripper? Or do I even need to?
Doree’s Mom: Try to gauge her reaction by telling her, “Do you remember so and so, she’s a stripper.”
Jessica’s Mom: But if you do tell her, don’t expect (unless she is extraordinary), that she is going to approve. You have made a choice which I assume is important to you. If you feel that not telling her is an unacceptable omission of the truth, then by all means tell her, though sometimes a don’t ask don’t tell policy makes the most sense. Even if she doesn’t approve, take pleasure in the other ways your mother shows care.
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