In Memoriam: The Greatest Tweets of All Time

While Twitter is still functional and recognizable and before Elon Musk drives it totally into the ground, let us reminisce on our favorite moments.

Entertainment
Image: Twitter/Getty

As I type these words, Twitter is still online and functional, but it likely won’t be for long.

A wildly narcissistic right-wing billionaire has bought the site, laid off half its staff, and driven roughly two-thirds of the remaining staff to quit. In a disingenuous bid to return “power to the people” and preserve “free speech” (that is: kneecap the news media, own the libs and help spread conspiracy theories), Elon Musk said he would remove verification badges from journalists and public figures and instead sell blue check marks for $8 a month. Impersonations almost immediately proliferated—a preview of what’s to come if the site manages to survive the loss of nearly all of its critical engineers. (As of this writing, the exact status of the “selling verification” plan remains up in the air, much like Twitter’s future generally.)

On Thursday night, the mood on the social media platform felt downright funereal, after Musk said he was locking down HQ until next week. Many journalists and activists (myself included) built much of our careers on Twitter and rely on it heavily for real-time breaking news and to just generally do our jobs. For all of our complaining about the “hell site” (which it certainly is at times, particularly for women), Twitter also made us laugh; it fostered relationships; it helped movements organize; it platformed smart, interesting, funny people who otherwise may never have had a big reach.

Before the site goes up in flames, or simply becomes unrecognizable and useless under Musk’s sociopathic vision, let us take a little walk down memory lane and remember all the best (sometimes funny, sometimes ridiculous, sometimes humiliating) tweets that kept us coming back over the past decade-and-a-half. (I’d set this slideshow to “Graduation (Friends Forever)” by Vitamin C if I could, but I can’t, so play the song yourself if you’d like to create the appropriate mood while scrolling through.)

These are in no particular order of greatness:

The people need to know

The people need to know
Screenshot: Twitter

He’s got game

He’s got game
Screenshot: Twitter

Come closer with that chainsaw

Come closer with that chainsaw
Screenshot: Twitter

Probably never

Probably never
Screenshot: Twitter

Will we even be able to do this anymore?

Will we even be able to do this anymore?
Screenshot: Twitter

Just here to make friends

Just here to make friends
Screenshot: Twitter

Dr. Oz probably wrote this movie

Dr. Oz probably wrote this movie
Screenshot: Twitter

The tweet that launched a thousand ball checks

The tweet that launched a thousand ball checks
Screenshot: Twitter

Shania forever

Shania forever
Screenshot: Twitter

I’m very fun at parties

I’m very fun at parties
Screenshot: Twitter

Take me to church

Take me to church
Screenshot: Twitter

“Hope” is the thing with feathers

“Hope” is the thing with feathers
Screenshot: Twitter

In this economy...

In this economy...
Screenshot: Twitter

Pls, sir

Pls, sir
Screenshot: Twitter

The end of mentions

The end of mentions
Screenshot: Twitter

It’s the scissor-tailed fly-catcher for me

It’s the scissor-tailed fly-catcher for me
Screenshot: Twitter

Complete the rhyme

Complete the rhyme
Screenshot: Twitter

Brutal

Brutal
Screenshot: Twitter

Sapiosexual

Sapiosexual
Screenshot: Twitter

He lost 🙁

He lost :(
Screenshot: Twitter

*sweating emoji*

*sweating emoji*
Screenshot: Twitter

MY WIIIFE

MY WIIIFE
Screenshot: Twitter

Come on...

Come on...
Screenshot: Twitter

She never deleted this

She never deleted this
Screenshot: Twitter



Screenshot: Twitter

Congrats buddy!

Congrats buddy!
Screenshot: Twitter

Schlapp, former White House political director

Schlapp, former White House political director
Screenshot: Twitter

Yeos!

Yeos!
Screenshot: Twitter

 
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