Jay-Z Spends $350K On Bags For Beyonce

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On Christmas Eve, Hova reportedly dropped several boatloads of cash on Birkin bags for his ladylove. I’m so confused. This gesture goes against so much of both artists’ catalogs.

What happened to “Independent Woman (Part I)” when Beyonce was all “the shoes on my feet, I bought ’em, cause I depend on me”? And what about when Jay-Z was like “You wanna see how far I’ma go, how, much I’ma spend but you already know: zip, zero, stingy with dinero”? Were they lying to us? I don’t even know what’s real anymore. [Showbiz Spy]

Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig were spotted holding hands, fueling rumors that they have been sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes Daniel Craig with the baby carriage. [Showbiz Spy]
Hugh Jackman is now officially accident-prone. Celebrity gossip devotees may recall that earlier this month, the actor hurt himself ziplining onto the Australia set of Oprah Winfrey’s show. Well, now he got himself hit in the junk at a cricket game. It’s funniest if you imagine this occurring while he’s in costume for his role in Kate & Leopold. Something about a guy in a codpiece getting hit in the balls will never not be funny to me. [News.au]
Hugh Hefner announced via Twitter that he’s engaged to his 24-year old girlfriend, noted astrophysicist Crystal Harris. And by astrophysicist, I mean Playboy playmate who is totally into Hef for his sparkling personality. The marriage will be Hef’s third and Harris’s first, and all of Hef’s fellow residents of Fantasy Pajamaland will be invited and the men will throw their heads back and laugh, clutching their bubble pipes and monocles while their silicon-breasted dates frolic through an erotic bouncy castle. [Star]
Not news: Lady Gaga went shopping. News: Lady Gaga went shopping… in pants. I sense a disturbance in The Force. [ONTD]
The Blue Man Group pulled Glee’s Diana Agron onstage during a show in New York. Tobias Funke could not be reached for comment, although it’s safe to assume that he’s crying in a shower somewhere. [Just Jared]
Battery not included with that Lindsay Lohan that Santa brought you this year. Those charges against her were dropped. [Yahoo]
Usher bought 16-year-old Justin Bieber an outfit for Christmas. If you’re 16 years old and friends with Usher, I bet getting clothes from him is quite a disappointment, unless the item of clothing is Usher’s magical fedora, the one that lets him dance all crazy and stuff. Otherwise, Bentley or GTFO, right? [Radar Online]
Demi Lovato has reached an unspecified settlement with the tour dancer she allegedly punched. They’re also changing the name of her Disney Channel show to Sonny With A Chance… Of Punching. [Yahoo]
Nicole Kidman says that motherhood comes before her career, that her role as a mother far eclipses anything she could do as an actress. For example, when she was in The Hours, she wore that prosthetic nose, but when she’s mothering, she sometimes wears entire prosthetic limbs. [Digital Spy]
Lil’ Kim went out partying on Christmas Eve. Nicki Minaj is in the process of writing an angry diss track about the event and will perform it for the first time on the eve of Presidents Day, and so goes the unending holiday-centric battle between the two female MC’s, both of whom are styled by the same consortium of drunken five year old girls. [ONTD]
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt spent their holiday in Namibia, where it’s safe to assume that they did not do what you did this Christmas, which is grumble about shoveling the front walk and track snow through your parents’ kitchen and help push your mom’s Toyota Yaris out of a snowbank. [Radar Online]
Angelina Jolie is reportedly beside herself with rage over the fact that The Tourist bombed. I’m sure she ran home to her giant diamond house and cried golden tears after having sex with Brad Pitt on a bed made of money and mink fur because she was so upset. [Showbiz Spy]
Simon Baker, that dude who looks really hot in glasses and who stars in that show that your grandpa likes, is reportedly about to finalize a $30 million dollar with his network for his role on future episodes. [Radar Online]
Ginnifer Goodwin is engaged. Maybe he actually is just that into her. [E!]
Noteworthy ladypunching bow tie wearer Chris Brown is set to release his new single on New Year’s Day. Thank goodness I’ll be too hungover to turn on a radio that day. [ONTD]
Tiger Woods has been dropped as the Gilette spokesperson, which is disappointing because I’d really love to see razors advertised with the tagline “Your Mistresses Will Love It!” [Showbiz Spy]
Snooki will be inside MTV’s New Year’s Eve ball as it’s dropped at midnight on January 31st. Is this real life or a nonpublished chapter of Infinite Jest? Is The Entertainment actually a Jersey Shore marathon? Hold me; I’m very scared right now. [US]
Lady Gaga announced that she will be making an announcement on New Year’s Eve. This is the most exciting announcement announcement since the 500th time Ryan Seacrest announced that American Idol would be back with the results… right after these six commercials for Target and Korean midrange-priced cars. [ONTD]
Tyler Perry plans to rebuild the home of an 88 year old Atlanta woman who lost her house and all of her belongings in a fire. Unfortunately, Tyler Perry will be playing all of the roles of the entire construction crew and so the house will kind of suck. [Yahoo]

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