Kim Kardashian Decorates Home With Large, White Christmas Dildos

Kim Kardashian Decorates Home With Large, White Christmas Dildos
Graphic:Joan Summers/Jezebel

Noted Christmas person Kim Kardashian West has once again elevated the art form of being extremely rich and extremely weird, just in time for her favorite holiday! This year, her home has been overrun by large, oblong sculptures Kim refers to on Instagram as “whimsical” decorations, and the pure essence of what the holiday means to her. Considering the rest of her home is an uncomfortably white, occasionally beige mausoleum, constructed from the joint vision of her and her husband’s wealth-poisoned minds, I’d say her vision of the season tracks!

On Instagram Stories last night, KKW took viewers like me on a tour through her palatial Hidden Hills estate, where dildos and butt-plugs of all sizes were lined along the walls of her manse. She explained that the decorations are actually “trees,” like they have in “Whoville,” and were previously used at her 2018 Instagram celebrity filled Christmas Eve bash.

Screenshot:Instagram Stories (Kim Kardashian West)

Kim also reports that they’re actually made from plush materials, despite looking like they’ve been chiseled from an alien alloy that crash landed on the meteor from which they also sculpted their home. Honestly? They wouldn’t look so ominous, if it wasn’t for the warm glow of the lighting in her home, which feels sinister, or that the walls blend into the floors, distorting one’s perception of space and time. As fellow blog crime enthusiast Megan Reynolds explained to me, however: “Her entire house is concrete, but if the kids run into the walls they will now at least have some padding.” Good point! [People]

While dad is away (from royal duties, permanently), Princess Eugenie is out to play! Page Six reports that the daughter of noted Epstein sympathizer Prince Andrew has been partying it up at Art Basel Miami this week, even while scandal ravages her bloodline and deteriorates any shred of goodwill the general public still has towards the idea of monarchies.

To her credit, she is an executive at art gallery Hauser & Wirth, so the argument could be made that she’s at the weeklong party to “work”—codename in the art world for schmoozing with rich clients you will eventually sell some expensive paintings too. Spies for Page Six spotted her at a “Dom Pérignon-fueled bash called “The Last Supper” at hotelier Alan Faena’s mansion,” as well as the following day, where she “spent her time with a group of pals by the pool sipping drinks and taking a puff of a cigarette.” A reminder that everyone’s “self-care” looks different, especially when you’re a royal!

One source explained:

“She wasn’t being wild or anything, no one really noticed her. She seemed to be having a nice time chatting with her friends. At one point Paris Hilton joined their group. […] At some point bodyguards blocked off her area, but for most of the night, her space was free to any revelers.”

Meanwhile, Virginia Giuffre repeated allegations this week that she was forced by Jeffrey Epstein to have sex with Prince Andrew when she was only 17, telling the U.K. public via the BBC: “This is not some sordid sex story. This is a story of being trafficked. This is a story of abuse, and this is a story of your guy’s royalty.” Page Six reports that amidst Giuffrie’s claims, Andrew’s other daughter Beatrice is “in tears”—and notably not at Art Basel! [Page Six]

  • Justin Timberlake is apparently wearing his wedding ring again. [Hollywood Life]
  • Hailey Bieber is really over how “toxic” social media is. [Us Weekly]
  • Laura Dern apparently needed a “security detail” after appearing on Ellen’s 1997 coming out episode. [People]
  • Billie Eilish meat-shamed Lady Gaga, Lady Gaga fans retaliated with an attempt to cancel the Van Halen listener. [Hollywood Life]
  • Kourtney Kardashian is holding hands with Younes Bendjima again. [Us Weekly]
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