My One Passion in Life is Getting Beautiful Things For Free, Like This Parrot (??) Funeral Urn (??)
Style
I have very few passions in life, mostly because I am lazy and because it seems a little unseemly to declare my penchant for spending all of my disposable income on plants that I eventually kill a “passion,” as opposed to the sublimation of a baser instinct that I should probably discuss, but definitely won’t, with a therapist. But there is one hobby of mine that I feel confident in calling a true passion—and that is my passion for free shit.
I’ve always enjoyed getting things for free—who doesn’t—but at some point last year, it became an obsession that took up significant portions of my free time, which I suddenly had in abundance. I began scouring the “free” section of Craigslist on a thrice-daily basis, marveling at the bounty and diversity of what was being offered, often logging on first thing in the morning and right before going to bed. I joined my neighborhood Buy Nothing group, which had the unfortunate effect of compelling me to sign into Facebook (ugh) several times a day, and on every walk with my dog, I kept my eye out for trash that could be treasure, or at the very least, a practical, new-to-me set of dinner plates.
