Only One Man Can Save Red Lobster From Bankruptcy

Flavor Flav, cheddar bay biscuit preservationist? Sure. Also a U.S. Women's Water Polo sponsor? Apparently. The greatest hype man of our time? Yeah, boi!

Celebrities
Only One Man Can Save Red Lobster From Bankruptcy

In May, Red Lobster announced it filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy citing an accumulated $1 billion in debt and less than $30 million in cash on hand. As a result, the franchise said it planned to sell the business to its lenders and close dozens of its locations. The news was unwelcome to all cheddar bay biscuit buffs including none other than Flavor Flav.

Since the announcement, the rapper has seemingly devoted himself to raising awareness™ for the cause. This week, for instance, he hit up his local Red Lobster and did what no man has ever been brave enough to do: Order the entire menu.

“Ya boy meant it when I said I was gonna do anything and everything to help @redlobster and save the cheddar bay biscuits,” Flav wrote on Instagram alongside a photo of the banquet of my affordably-priced seafood dreams. The bounty was so big, in fact, that it took up not one but two tables.

“Ordered the whole menu,” he added in case it wasn’t totally clear. King.

Later, TMZ reported that the rapper was actually in talks with the chain on a potential collaboration. I can see the marketing campaigns now. Just spit-balling here but I’m thinking of a spoof of Flavor of Love called Flavor of Lobster in which various herbs and spice blends common to the crustacean compete for Flav’s love. Tarragon butter, your time is up. Nothing like nostalgia to pay back a billion in debt!

In case you’re surprised by Flav’s staunch support, look no further than his near-perfect track record in recent years. Last month, he personally reached out to the U.S. Women’s Water Polo team after its captain, Maggie Steffens, posted a plea for support. On Steffens’ Instagram post asking for more eyes on them as we approach the Paris Olympics, Flav commented: “AYYY YOOO,,, as a girl dad and supporter of all women’s sports – imma personally sponsor you my girl,,, whatever you need. And imma sponsor the whole team.”

“My manager is in touch with your agent and imma use all my relationships and resources to help all y’all even more,” he tacked on. “That’s a FLAVOR FLAV promise.” And according to CBS Sports, he’s actually making good on his word.

“When I come out and I watch this water polo team … ‘USA! USA!’ Yo, I’m going to be the biggest hype man that they ever had in their life,” Flav said after the post made headlines. “I’m going to be bigger than any cheerleader that they had in their life. I’m going to cheer this team on, and I’m going to cheer this team into winning a gold medal.” Suddenly, I, too, am inspired to be the (second) biggest cheerleader these women have ever had in their lives.

I’ll also note that when I interviewed Blu DeTiger last month, she told Jezebel that Flav was a not-so-quiet admirer of hers as well. “He was like, ‘Yo, I’m a fan,’” the singer and bassist said of a recent meeting at one of her DJ gigs. “Now we keep in touch over DM.”

Flavor Flav, the greatest hype man of our time? Yeah, boi.

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