Place All Your Bets; Teddy The Porcupine Picks The Super Bowl Winner

We have had this video translated by one of Jezebel’s resident porcupine language experts, and I have just now been handed the translation of what he said: “Whatever. I am a Colts fan. They were clearly robbed. WTF is up with Andrew Luck. I don’t even care. I’m going to watch the Puppy Bowl in silent protest. If you’re interested, my Super Bowl party starts around noon-ish, but that doesn’t mean you have to be there at noon. That’s just when me and some racoons here are going to start barbecuing. They said they are bringing some Pabst Blue Ribbon. Fucking hipster racoons; what are you going to do.”

(If you really need to know who Teddy picked and cannot be bothered to watch a 50 second video to find out, he picked the Seahawks.)