There were five, and then there were four, and now there are none: One Direction is officially herstory, or at least until they end their “hiatus”—which, as anyone who’s ever been in a failing relationship knows, is just code for pulling off the band-aid real slow.
Ushering in this “hiatus” is the music video for “History,” in which 1D plays out the best of their whole relationship with a nostalgic look back at the ordeal, valorizing it while secretly trying to parse where it went wrong, like that two-week “hiatus” you and your boyfriend took where all you could do was take Xanax and listen to Vespertine, right before you decided it was better to break up entirely. But can you blame them for their emotion? “Keep getting the feeling you want to leave this all behind,” coos Harry, his recently acquired man biceps and forever intact luxurious hair tantalizing us into the camera. “Thought we were going strong? I thought we were holding on? Aren’t we?” Well, aren’t we? Jesus, this is depressing. Someone Seamless over a bottle of wine to these boys so they can numb the pain for awhile. But as the song goes, we can live forever… if only in our memories, and our loins. Goodbye, One Direction. We knew you well.
