Shejaculation: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Gush

By Slut Machine | January 31, 2008 | 11:00pm

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When I first heard about female ejaculation, I thought it was a bullshit myth invented by women who accidentally pee during sex, and one supported by fetishists who wanted to believe in it — until it happened to me. I was 25 and had been having sex for about 8 years (not consistently, I should say). I have no idea why my body chose that moment — in the middle of a reverse cowgirl with some dude I’d just met a few hours before — to bust out its new parlor trick; in fact, there were a lot of things that confused me about what happened, like, “Where did that fluid come from and what is it? Is there something wrong with me? How did this happen? And why did it feel good?” (Warning: There’s a medical diagram after the jump that’s NSFW.)

So here’s the story: I met a dude who was visiting from Ireland at a bar. We went back to the place he was staying, and pretty much started having sex right away. I was on top of him — my back to his face — for a few minutes, rubbing myself with my fingers when I started to orgasm. I started to contract really hard and then all of a sudden, I felt all this fluid rushing out of me. It were as though his dick were a pin and popped a water balloon resting on the front wall of my vagina. At first I was gripped with fear, and thought I’d ruptured some sort of cyst. But there was no pain at all.

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Then I could hear the guy behind me start laughing through his moans, adding, “Alright! I didn’t know you were one of those.” Obviously, neither had I.

In the years since, squirting (sometimes called gushing) has become a part of my sex life, although there is no predictability to it. I can’t squirt on command, although there are better chances of it happening if some kind of penetration is going on. Sometimes the stuff squirts out in a split stream, sometimes it gushes wildly, sometimes it just falls out, and one time, when a dude was finger-banging me, it shot up in the air, and arched. The amount of fluid expelled also varies widely. Sometimes it’s about a tablespoon or two, sometimes it can be up to a cup or two. It’s actually a pain in the ass because it’s just a big mess.

As for the fluid, it’s not really piss. Here’s an explanation from Wikipedia:

While current information offers no solid information about the source of the fluid, chemical analysis performed on the fluid has revealed that while it sometimes contains at least traces of urine, it regularly contains chemical markers unique to the prostate (whether male or female).

While I do believe that most girls in squirting fetish pornos are just pissing (since, like I said, it doesn’t seem possible to do on command), I know that what comes out of me is not pee. I live my life perpetually suffering between either mild dehydration or a UTI, meaning that my piss is (ab)normally cloudy, stinky, and dark. The stuff that comes out of me when I squirt doesn’t smell like that, and it dries white on my sheets.

So where is this stuff coming from then? No one knows for certain, but the likely answer is the Skene’s gland, which is located on the upper wall of the vagina, around the lower end of the urethra, and is said to also be the biological mechanism behind G-spot orgasms. It drains near the urethral opening. Check it out:

The first time I saw that diagram I was like, “Ahhh! More holes!?”

The Skene’s gland thing would explain why penetration is needed for me to squirt: According to a study at the University of Italy, Skene’s glands have “a highly variable anatomy, and in some extreme cases they appear to be missing entirely. If Skene’s glands are the cause of female ejaculation and G-spot-orgasms, this may explain the observed absence of these phenomena in many women.”

This, of course, would explain why some women believe female ejaculation is real (it is) and why no one should feel less sexually accomplished if it’s never happened to them (it isn’t something everyone can do). I’m still not entirely sure why it even happened to me; the best I can come up with is that as I grow older and more experienced, I’m just getting better at getting off. I definitely have way better orgasms now at 28 than I did at 18. It’s just that now I have to have a towel on hand.