Social Minefield: How To Give A Perfect Present
LatestA present is an opportunity to show how creative, thoughtful, and generous you are, all with a single well-wrapped package. Or it’s a chance to look like a huge ass. Here’s how to do the former and avoid the latter.
Gift-giving is tough. I learned this the hard way at the age of four, when I went to my best friend’s birthday party and proceeded to unceremoniously unwrap the gift my mom had carefully picked out for her. Because that’s what presents are for, right? Opening? Needless to say I got in huge trouble — and discovered at a young age how emotionally fraught giving a gift can be. You want it to be awesome, but not over-the-top. Personal, but situationally appropriate. And then there’s the question of price. It’s enough to make anyone just swap Amazon gift certificates (this is what my dad and his dad do every Christmas), but you no longer have to resort to that, because you have this handy guide. We’ll tackle holiday gift ideas in greater depth later on, but for a whole bunch of other occasions, see below.
Birthdays
I covered this a bit in the birthdays post, but I’ll reiterate: if it’s a casual friend, who’s also a grownup, you probably don’t have to get anything. Unless he/she’s having a house party — then bring some nice booze if you can afford it. If not, baked goods! If you’re shopping for a close friend, you may already have a great idea. But in case your gifting staples are getting a little tired — or your wallet is looking thin — consider giving a service. Dodai says, “my friend once ‘gave’ me the gift of organizing my apartment, and it changed my life.” Sadie has another budget-friendly recommendation:
Pick up a vintage purse at a thrift shop and then fill it with cheap necessities: notebook, pen, coin purse, gum, band-aids, hotel sewing-kit, mini Advil, stain-remover, vintage hankie etc. I usually include an old pulp paperback. You can also do theme ones (ie for a new job or travel) but the point is to keep it cheap and eclectic.
If you’re crafty, handmade gifts are another good option. I just hurt myself every time I try to use a glue gun or a needle, but for one dear friend’s birthday I got a pretty notebook and filled it with recipes I’d made up. And once I gave another friend the gift of a secret. I had some gossip I knew he was dying to hear, so I waited until his birthday, wrote it on a card, and delivered it to him with great ceremony. This is probably the most-appreciated gift I’ve ever given.
Baby Showers
Helaine Olen, a writer on parenting and personal finance, gave me this tip:
The best baby shower/young child gifts I received were clothes for a child older than my own. Everyone buys babies clothes, so much so that they’ll never wear half the 0-3 month onesies you get. But when it comes to a two year old, it’s you and your bank account which means that one day you will be pathetically grateful to open up the kiddie drawer and find those toddler pants you couldn’t imagine why someone would buy you at the time. You can get clothes for children up to three, by the way. After that, the kids have figured out the gift-giving thing and the days of pleasing mom and dad are over.
Intern Katie, who has lots of experience selling baby shower gifts, points out that prospective parents often have registries, which are a first step if you’re not sure what to get. If they don’t however, she has some specific ideas:
Trumpette socks – SO cute. They look like shoes, don’t slip off the baby’s foot, and have grips on the bottom. Also, you can never have too many socks, so it’s not a problem if someone else has already gifted them.
Sophie the Giraffe – It’s a $25 teether, but every single baby loves it. It’s a French toy that’s been around since the ’60s. They’re made of natural rubber and are the perfect shape and texture. They used to have a “cult following” in the US, but now they’re getting pretty well-known. Sophie is also a perfect gender-neutral toy.
Swaddle blankets – There are a few companies that make them, but Aden + Anais is a good bet. They’re white muslin blankets that come in packs of two and four, and have lots of different patterns. They’re extremely versatile and pretty affordable.
Jellycat Truffles (Size large) – It’s a super soft and floppy, adorable plush animal/pillow that the kid will keep for years. Also comes in many varieties.
Katie also adds, “If you get clothing, make sure to match the correct season with the baby’s age. Don’t buy a 6-12 month size romper in the middle of winter for a newborn, since it will be summer when it fits.”