Sophie Turner Is Living the Revenge Fantasy of My Dreams

No one will ever really know what happened between Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas except for Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas. But what we do know, or what it looks like, at least, is that Joe divorced her—which she reportedly learned about from the media—after four years of marriage over something he saw on a Ring Camera and then had his team try to paint Sophie as a bad mom in the press. It was bad! Joe looked really bad!

But then Sophie became BFFs with Taylor Swift and started dating Peregrine Pearson, who’s a British aristocrat. And now? Now?! She’s rumored to be in final negotiations to play Lara Croft in Prime Video and Phoebe Waller-Bridge‘s Tomb Raider. As Samantha Jones said after Big told Carrie he was leaving his wife, “Well let’s just say it, you won.”

I’m not going through a divorce or even a breakup, but my god, if I was, this would be my exact revenge fantasy—especially if I had just been slammed as an absent, hard-partying mom by my shitty ex. If there was a museum of revenge stories, Turner’s would be the work of art everyone stands in line to see. It’s like Vincent Van Gogh’s “The Starry Night,” Sandro Botticelli’s “The Birth of Venus,” and Artemisia Gentileschi’s “Judith Slaying Holofernes” all rolled into one stunning masterpiece.

On Thursday, Deadline and The Hollywood Reporter both reported that Turner is closing in on Croft. Waller-Bridge is both writing and executive producing the series, which also tested Lucy Boynton, Emma Mackey, and Mackenzie Davis for the starring role.

“If I could tell my teenage self this was happening, I think she’d explode,” Waller-Bridge said in a statement in May. “Tomb Raider has been a huge part of my life and I feel incredibly privileged to be bringing it to television with such passionate collaborators. Lara Croft means a lot to me, as she does to many, and I can’t wait to go on this adventure. Bats ‘n all.” I also wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self that, she’ll have to be patient, but she will eventually get to watch something from Waller-Bridge’s $20 million Amazon deal.

Fingers crossed for Turner—but even if the deal falls through, she remains winning. Meanwhile, Joe has a new album or something.

• Hugh Grant thinks William Thacker is “despicable.” [Entertainment Weekly]
• Have you been dying to know if Taylor Swift will join the Kelces for Thanksgiving? Donna Kelce reveals all! [Just Jared]
• Jennifer Lawrence looks great! [Page Six]
• Conan O’Brien is hosting the Oscars. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Sounds insane, I know, but there’s another lawsuit against Kanye West filed by an ex-employee. [Page Six]
• Hugh Jackman’s ex-wife has seemingly kind of confirmed those Sutton Foster rumors. [Daily Mail]
• Here’s Gwen Stefani talking about Blake Shelton, if you’re into that…[Us Weekly]
• Everyone loves Ethan Slater and Ariana Grande now, apparently. [Marie Claire]
• Cheryl Hines was at Mar-a-Lago. Gross. [TMZ]