Steven Crowder’s Ex’s Family Shares Video of Him Berating Her for Not Fulfilling ‘Wifely’ Duties

“The only way out of this is discipline and respect,” he tells her at one point in the video.

Later, Hilary tells Crowder, “I love you, but your abuse is sick,” to which he replies, “Watch it. Watch it. Fucking watch it.” Hilary repeats that she loves him but says she needs space. Crowder then tells her, “I don’t love you. That’s the big problem. I’ve never received love from you.”

It’s a short but chilling clip that offers a glimpse into the extent of Crowder’s control over his ex-wife. As the clip makes the rounds on social media, some have pointed out that Crowder’s choice to share one car with Hilary despite his exorbitant wealth was deliberate. This is a fairly common tactic among abusers to isolate victims, control their access to public life, and control them in general. Others have argued that Crowder insisting his wife needs “discipline” for not fulfilling her “wifely” duties is “a perfect example of the way conservative men weaponize religious expectations to justify abuse.”

The revelations about Crowder’s divorce, and now, his ex-wife’s family’s claims of abuse, are especially eyebrow-raising, given his previous comments opposing no-fault divorce (which allows people to obtain a divorce without proof of abuse or mistreatment) and insinuating that men should be able to legally hold women who no longer wish to be married to them as hostages. It’s hardly surprising, but still unsettling, to see video footage capturing just how the emotional abuse played out.

Last summer, Crowder argued that we should change our divorce laws to make it possible for women to be entrapped in unwanted marriages: “There need to be changes to marital laws. … If you’re a woman that comes from meager means, and you want to get wealthy… your best path to victory is simply to marry a man, leave him, and take half,” he said. “We need to reform divorce laws in this country.” On Tuesday, Crowder suggested he disagrees with the laws that permitted his wife to leave him: “My then-wife decided that she didn’t want to be married anymore and in the state of Texas, that is completely permitted.” He reiterated that the situation was “not [his] choice,” and that Hilary “simply wanted out and the law says that that’s how it works.”

Crowder’s claims that he’s being extorted by Owens come amid an ongoing cold war between the two. In January, Crowder attacked the Daily Wire, Owens’ employer, for offering him a $50 million deal that he characterized as a “slave contract.” In response, at the time, Owens said on her show: “Steven has a lot going on, I guess is the best way to say it. He has a lot going on and that should be clear because people don’t do stuff like this if there’s not a lot going on in their life.” She added, “I am unsure at this moment if it is my place to say more than that. Maybe if I feel, in further defense, something should be said, or maybe if I feel that the public has a right to understand certain circumstances.”

Crowder now claims these comments were threats from Owens to expose the messiness of his divorce. Owens responded this week by sending him a cease and desist letter, the Daily Beast reports. And to this, Crowder responded by having his lawyer send a letter to Owens stating that she doesn’t have grounds for a defamation suit against him. “His lawyer came back and basically said that my claims were not actionable because he was using the term ‘extortion’ as a feeling,” Owens told the Daily Beast.

This is all wildly messy, but amid the dumpster fire that is this latest right-wing media feud, I hope it doesn’t get lost that Crowder—an openly virulent misogynist who’s profited somewhere in the millions off his misogyny—is accused of emotionally abusing his ex-wife. And, frankly, the video Hilary’s family shared speaks for itself.