Are you a bitch? If so, can you clarify what type ? As you may remember, a third-grader provided options, ranging from “geekin’ bitches” to “wearing shoes that be talking bitches.” Now you’re being asked to choose, for art’s sake.
For the past several weeks, a handwritten list of “types of bitches” has been making the rounds in the blogosphere. It is not exactly clear where the list came from; some claim it is from a school in Washington, D.C., while others suggest it first appeared out of Baltimore in 2009. We have a sneaking suspicion it might be fake, a hoax made up by some adult who thinks “bitches” are hilarious. The claim is that it was found on the floor of a third grade classroom, written by some precocious child and left behind, as is their wont. It goes on for several pages, all the way up to number 90 (“jelous bitches”). Unfortunately, an entire page is missing, so we’ll never know what the author thought about 44-58, but we can guess it wasn’t flattering.
Writer/artist Japhy Grant came across the list earlier this year. Instead of simply laughing at its content and dismissing it as just another internet meme, Grant decided to turn it into an art project. In his call for submissions, he writes:
Launching in late May, KINDS OF BITCHES is an art-blog project. Each post will feature one of the 90 types of bitches— with a photo and a 500-700 word written piece about that kind of bitch. The goal of the site is to subvert the sexism/ gender identity of the list, while also celebrating feminity [sic]. If all goes well, we hope to make this into a book.
Grant is looking for writers and artists to capture an image of a particular type of bitch and provide a description of their bitch-itude (if anyone wants to photograph me for no. 37, I’m game). If done right, BITCHES could end up with a more comprehensive vision of the images of femininity than will ever appear under the cover of Vogue.
Fortunately for Grant, it doesn’t even matter whether the list is really the work of a third grader. Even if it is a joke, the several-page, scanned-in document required a good deal of effort, all with the end purpose of getting people to talk about bitches. If you read the entire thing through, the word “bitches” eventually begins to lose all meaning; it becomes inane through the continual repetition. Grant wants to break up this process and give each instance of the word a chance to become embodied. We hope that all 75 breeds of bitch end up making it into the project, but somehow we imagine some bitches will be more popular than others.
It will be interesting to see how the project plays out. Submissions, which are due May 15th, can be sent [email protected] here Full guidelines below.
WRITER’S GUIDELINES:
– Select a type of bitch from the list below.
– Write 500-700 words about the type. It can be a story, an essay, a personal memory, even a poem. Use your bitch as a starting point. Make us laugh, make us cry, make us think.
– Email your submission in the body of an email along with your name to [email protected]
– If selected, we’ll contact you with more info.
PHOTOGRAPHER’S GUIDELINES:
– Select a type of bitch from the list below.
– Make an original image inspired by your bitch. You can use all the tricks of the trade to make your image, but no paintings or illustrations please.
– You must use your own image and/or have the copyright to whatever material you use (and be able to prove it.)
– Email your photo (no more than 5MB) as a PNG or JPG in an email along with your name to [email protected]
– If selected, we’ll contact you with more info. Be ready to provide a hi-res version as well.