We Suspended Our Disbelief to Watch ‘Babygirl’—Then Spent 45 Minutes Talking About It

Most years, December 25 is “Christmas Day.” This year, December 25 is Babygirl Day—the day Nicole Kidman and Harris Dickinson’s deranged erotic thriller, written and directed by Halina Reijn, hits theaters. Undoubtedly the horniest movie of the year, Babygirl follows the torrid extramarital affair between an ambitious female CEO of a robotics company, Romy (Kidman), and her swashbuckling intern, Sam (Dickinson). Of course, it’s not just any age-gap, corporate sex affair. Romy is a happily married mother of two who’s secretly dissatisfied with her sex life with her husband, and struggles with shame and conflicted feelings over her deep desire to be tamed and controlled by a sexual partner. Despite her best efforts to resist her attraction to Sam, Romy pursues these desires with him through a whirlwind of jaw-dropping exchanges, steamy sex montages, and one audacious glass of milk.

For whatever reason, I, alongside Jezebel contributor Kady Ruth Ashcraft, watched this erotic movie at 10 a.m. on a Friday in a screening room on the Upper East Side, while our colleague Audra Heinrichs watched it at noon on a Sunday in a theater near a church. We decided to debrief over FaceTime on Monday and pore through the movie’s hottest and cringest moments for 45 minutes—all for your reading enjoyment.

Kylie: What did you see as fantasy versus reality? I think, to start off, is a robotics intern going to look like Harris Dickinson or the Grok engineers at Twitter? I kept vacillating between… he would say something where I’m like, anyone who could pick up on social cues probably would not have said or done that. But then two seconds later, he would say or do something really hot. I would describe him as “hotistic.”

Kady Ruth Ashcraft: I do feel like the lack of/breaking of social cues is what makes it a fantasy. I mean, they’re fucking in a soundproof supplies closet at work—which, shouldn’t corporate HR look into why there’s a soundproof supplies closet?

Audra Heinrichs: When she just walks in on him peeing in the bathroom… It was really interesting hearing Halina Reijn talk about these scenes—for instance, the milk scene in the bar literally actually happened to her. Apparently, a Dutch actor sent her a glass of milk at a bar and initially, she was like, “What the hell,” and then that became “What the hell 😏.” So, is it fantasy? I like to imagine that these people do exist, we’re probably just not coming across them that often in our daily lives.

KC: The other thing that was fantasy was…I know CEOs do nothing all day, but even for a CEO, damn!

KRA: The only thing she had on her plate was filming that video where she’d recite her lines like, “We are leading the innovation on robotics in manufacturing…” That was sort of her one task during the entire film. 

KC: The other aspect of fantasy in this—I knew going in I didn’t want to see a movie about a woman being punished and having her life ruined, so I’m glad it didn’t go down that path. But at the same time, it did feel like fantasy to me, that a woman would face no real consequences for something like this. 

AH: And then it’s all just very tidy in the end. Her intern goes and gets another job on another continent, and we’re supposed to believe her husband, who’s this vanilla-coded guy, is now someone she can release the beast with. I’m just not sure I bought it. Once a boring sexual partner, probably always a boring sexual partner–especially because you’ve been married for so much of your life. Like, you’ve seen him on the toilet. Also, Dickinson’s character tells Kidman’s at one point, “I’m a different person” with her than he is with her assistant. So, can you release the beast with everybody? And is the beast received by all partners? I don’t know if the movie quite threaded the needle there. I actually can believe she didn’t face consequences because she’s doing the same thing men in corporate America have done forever. But I don’t know if I can get behind her being the same person with her husband that she was with Harris Dickinson.

KRA: Yeah, it felt a bit too neat of a bow to put on a movie that was really sexy and messy. Also —and I wish this weren’t the case—but having that femme of a woman at that level of power in a robotic manufacturing company felt like a bit of a fantastical stretch.

KC: What were the moments you really couldn’t suspend your disbelief?

AH: The rave.

KC: It was the embodiment of that, “OK so there’s this 56-year-old woman here” meme. And like, there’s no way they would have found each other in there.

KRA: When I saw Samuel’s body tattoos, which I did learn are Dickinson’s actual tattoos, I was like, “Who is this tatted robotics intern by day, sexy bartender by night (dom by late night), gold chain wearing, dog whisperer, misunderstood man?” It was a little too on the nose. Like a woman wearing a sexy nurse’s costume in a porno. Also his body—when is he going to the gym between all of his jobs?!

AH: The Nines is an actual lounge which is funny to me. I was like, Wow, they couldn’t just pick an obscure dive bar? 

KRA: We needed to see him in that little outfit. I thought we were about to get a bit of a power dynamic switch up between him and Romy at this hospitality job of his…

KC: Then he just had her escorted out. Did you enjoy any moments that were unintentionally funny? 

KRA: Towards the end where she’s wallowing in their Hamptons house and her 17-year-old, rebellious, she/they daughter shows up and is like, “I cheated on my polycule girlfriend and she took me back, your 20-year marriage with dad should be fine, too.” That made me laugh out loud, the wisdom of this sexually liberated teen fixed her.

KC: For me, the moment where they were talking about safe words and she suggests her husband’s name and he’s like, “OK.” I couldn’t stop laughing.

AH:  I also thought the star sign thing was really funny. Like, you just lapped up milk from a saucer he put on the floor and now you’re asking for his astrology sign?

KRA: I kept coming back to the sexual nature of him being able to control that dog at the beginning as what piqued her interest. That was a little funny to me. “Wow, he’s so good with that dog,” and that was it for her. I guess it’s like, you have to surrender to that power, because it’s so overt and I guess that’s what’s sexy about it?

In general, I love how the film complicates the—now pretty tired — girlboss trope or this idea of wanting equality in some places means you want it in all places. Sexuality and what turns us on is complex and a lot more nuanced than that.

AH: Never in a movie has Antonio Banderas ever given me the ick, but I was getting it from him here and I don’t even think it’s justified. I think all of his reactions were totally earned. Like, him trying to fight Samuel and then proceeding to have a panic attack is how, I think, a lot of men would process their wife’s affair. But at that moment, I was infinitely more attracted to Samuel. It’s like these two versions of masculinity being presented and how you react to both reveals more about you.

Harris Dickinson in ‘BABYGIRL’ (2024) pic.twitter.com/FDaJlUfdGe

— vitor (@connellwaIdron) December 19, 2024

KRA: What’s also really interesting about Samuel is we actually don’t have any background on him. Whereas Antonio Banderas’ character, Jacob—we see him at his job, know what he’s eating for breakfast, and witness him as a father. We don’t know where Sam lives, who his friends are, where he’s from. We only see him in hotel rooms or at her house. That was another thing that made me laugh—every time the doorbell rang, and it rang a lot, it was like, “It’s the fucking intern.” Anyways, Samuel was like a woman in a Christopher Nolan movie: just there to fuck and further complicate the main character’s life. That definitely added to the fantasy element of the film. 

KC: Which moments did you actually find hot?

AH: All of them.

KRA: It was so hot. I kept being like, I can’t believe I’m sitting next to Kylie watching this at 10 a.m. I can’t believe we’re all watching this in a crowd. This is something you should be watching alone. This is my Catholicism talking, but this movie is meant to be watched alone, locked in your room with a bag over your head, feeling guilty about it.

AH: I was like, I should pray later. I saw it with [our friend] Justin and there were so many moments when I had a visceral reaction. At one point, Justin leaned over and was like, “Breathe through your nose.” Not my gay friend domming me through the movie…

KC: I thought the part where he just walks by her and calls her a good girl after the milk scene… that was crazy.

AH: Being sent a glass of milk, I fear, would work on me.

KRA: Here’s the thing. We’re gonna get some Samuel imitators and all of them are gonna’ be creepy. I fear this is going to get into the wrong hands of some guys who are going to be sending glasses of milk to girls at bars and it’s going to go poorly.

A new clip from ‘BABYGIRL’ starring Nicole Kidman and Harris Dickinson.

In theaters Christmas day. pic.twitter.com/Cc1uN4No0W

— Film Updates (@FilmUpdates) December 22, 2024

KC: I thought his dancing shirtless for her was cool for maybe five seconds. Then when it kept going past that, I was like, Why?

AH: Oh I wanted it to go on. And I thought playing “Father Figure” by George Michael was a choice. I will never hear it the same way again. Like, him yelling “I’ll be your daddy!” at the end is literally insane.

KC: Do you think anyone but Nicole Kidman could have done this role?

KRA: Nicole Kidman is so good at playing a specific pedigreed woman, struggling to balance what’s expected of her with her own desires. She’s able to portray that tension boiling beneath a cool exterior so well.

AH: When I’m running through actors who would suit that role, I’m not sure they could perform internalized shame the way Nicole does. The emotions are just telegraphed on her face the whole time, especially when she’s saying no but her actions are saying yes. She was brilliant.

KRA: There’s a lot of narrative media, like All Fours by Miranda July, or The Substance right now about perimenopausal or menopausal women, a time when women are typically culturally and sexually undervalued and overlooked. But these films and books are exploring the real raw horniness and vulgarity and vulnerability of this age. I love it. 

KC: Did you think it was satisfying? Did it make sense? My whole thing was like, the whole affair was hot to them because of the stakes, but then the stakes disappeared at the end. Audra, to your point, it didn’t make sense to me that it just ends with her husband fingering her from behind and it’s like, “Cool, their marriage is fixed.” I really liked the movie, but the ending fell flat, where the solution to all these conflicting parts of her was apparently really simple.

AH: I’m intrigued by the choice they made with her assistant. I think it’s interesting, but I’m trying to think of actual young women I know in that position who would react that way—I think it’s more likely they’d act like nothing is happening, not stand up to her, and just whisper about what was happening. Instead, she came to her with demands like a girlboss in training. 

KRA: I understood the assistant essentially blackmailing Romy as her own separate female fantasy playing out, furthering her own ambition at her more powerful boss’ expense. But overall, the neat ending wasn’t satisfying to me, especially considering that what made the movie so sexy and appealing was the grey area it existed in. 

KC: Yeah, the neatness of it all is a fantasy on its own. Like, OK, the intern served his purpose and now he’s somewhere working in Asia. Cool.

KRA: I wouldn’t have minded an ending where the affair improved her relationship with her husband and also on Thursday nights she takes a taxi out to that club in Long Island City to get fucked by a dom or whatever.

AH: I would have loved the ending being another intern walks through the door.

KC: I need to know what you think Dickinson’s character’s astrology sign was since he didn’t answer in the movie.

KRA: Well, Audra has the inside info on that. Kylie, you know I leaned in to whisper “Scorpio” to you in that scene.

KC: OK, just going off your vibes.

AH: So, I know I was reading him as an air sign. There’s no way a water sign would be able to be so passive about sex. He does show his hand at certain points, but he just exuded air’s passivity to me. Like he had a full-on relationship he didn’t tell Romy about. But Halina [the director] was like, “No, he’s a Cancer.” Dickinson is also a cancer and that knowledge is doing things for me.

KRA: There are definitely points where the script gets flipped and she’s sort of mothering him. But again, we just know so little about him. Oh, I also drew this picture of him while we’ve been talking.

KC: Audra, your case for air sign has really changed my mind. But my original impression was Scorpio, too, because I found him deranged while also trying to come off as emotionally evolved, saying things like, “That’s a dated view of sexuality.” But maybe that’s just me projecting my own anti-Scorpio male bias. I could also see the Cancer in terms of being emotionally manipulative maybe.

AH: Cancer males are a lot of things…sensitive, dreamy, intellectual. But they lack bravery. I’ve never met one that would be so bold as to “good girl” their boss.

KC: Would you take your family to see this on Christmas day?

KRA: In a murder-suicide maybe.

KC: I saw Mary, Queen of Scots on Christmas day with my family, and it was definitely weird when the guy went down on her, and theose fun gay sex scenes.

AH: Probably not, but I did enjoy Nicole Kidman’s Hollywood Reporter interview where she’s like, “I think everyone should see this in theaters and not in your home.” After I did, I agreed. It was fun to see and hear everyone’s reactions.

KRA: Look, if you’re watching this at home alone, you’re pausing the movie at certain points if you catch my drift. I think the perfect person to go see this with is someone you’re in an ambiguous psychosexual relationship. And then just, you know, see what happens afterward.

KC: Audra, I feel like your mom seems cool and would be fun to watch it with.

AH: We might. My parents and I have watched some very questionable movies together because they just want to hang with me whenever I’m home—like, we saw Call Me By Your Name together. I’d see it with my mom if she’s game, but my dad is forbidden.

KRA: This isn’t about your dad Audra, but again, I do fear what straight men who own dogs are going to take away from this movie. 

KC: What were your Letterboxd ratings of Babygirl? And then Kady Ruth, your patented movie rubric…

KRA: I can’t take credit for it, it’s my friend’s. It’s, “Did you like it? Was it objectively good? Did you have fun?”

KC: Mine is yes, I think it’s objectively pretty good, though I respect the criticisms. And I had fun for sure.

KRA: Absolutely. I gave it three stars on Letterboxd. But I give everything three out of five stars on Letterboxd because I live in a state of fear.

KC: I gave it four stars and a heart.

AH: Same. It’s a solid four for me and a big heart. I respect all the criticisms, but I did disagree with the Paste review that called it shallow. Clearly, it prompted big, revelatory questions and spawned a long conversation like this. I don’t think something shallow could do that.