What Didn't 'They' Tell Me, Rihanna? What Didn't They Tell Me?! 


I think Rihanna might be trapped in the Black Lodge.

On Tuesday, she posted a photo of a stack of TV screens on a red carpet. One showed static, the other showed…well it’s sort of a Rorschach test of an image. Is it a hazy shot of a giant peach, a pair of boobs, or a close-up of someone’s butt?

Either way, that the image may be a butt or a boob gives a clue into what Rihanna might be announcing. Back in September it was reported that she was considering ›releasing her own lingerie line, because why stop at conquering and influencing the rest of the beauty industry? While there was no release date set on the lingerie drop, samples were reportedly already produced by the time the information leaked. Perhaps that’s why Rihanna assumes we’ve already been told…about something. What didn’t they tell me Rihanna?!

If it’s not lingerie, maybe it’s a single (Anti was released over two years ago, after all) or a new Fenty product that I will pray will transform my pasty flesh into something smooth, golden, and sparkly. Or, Rihanna and her lingerie collection is trapped in Twin Peaks’ “Red Room” and we absolutely have to save her in order to see it.

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