Why Does the World Keep Trying to Murder Leonardo DiCaprio?

CelebritiesDirt Bag

HELP. Our best friend Leonardo DiCaprio is being Final Destination’d.

In the most recent issue of Wired, DiCaprio describes his many near-death experiences.

There have been shark attacks!

“A great white jumped into my cage when I was diving in South Africa. Half its body was in the cage, and it was snapping at me. They leave the tops open and you have a regulator line running to the surface. Then they chum the water with tuna. A wave came and the tuna sort of flipped up into the air. A shark jumped up and grabbed the tuna, and half its body landed inside the cage with me. I sort of fell down to the bottom and tried to lie flat. The great white took about five or six snaps an arm’s length away from my head. The guys there said that has never happened in the 30 years they’d been doing it.”

Plane malfunctions that are visible from business class!

“I was in business class, and an engine blew up in front of my eyes. It was right after ‘Sully’ Sullenberger landed in the Hudson. I was sitting there looking out at the wing, and the entire wing exploded in a fireball. I was the only one looking out at the moment this giant turbine exploded like a comet. It was crazy. They shut all the engines off for a couple of minutes, so you’re just sitting there gliding with absolutely no sound, and nobody in the plane was saying anything. It was a surreal experience. They started the engines back up, and we did an emergency landing at JFK.”

The time something went wrong when he willingly jumped out of an airplane like an idiot!

“It was a tandem dive. We pulled the first chute. That was knotted up. The gentleman I was with cut it free. We did another free fall for like another 5, 10 seconds. I didn’t even think about the extra chute, so I thought we were just plummeting to our death. He pulled the second, and that was knotted up too. He just kept shaking it and shaking it in midair, as all my friends were, you know, what felt like half a mile above me, and I’m plummeting toward earth. [Laughs.] And he finally unravels it in midair. The fun part was when he said, ‘You’re probably going to break your legs on the way down, because we’re going too fast now.’ So after you see your whole life flash in front of your eyes — twice — he says, ‘Oh, your legs are going to get broken too.’”

“If a cat has nine lives, I think I’ve used a few,” DiCaprio told the magazine. And he doesn’t even mention all the time he’s wasted hanging out with Jonah Hill.

Taylor Swift’s “Instagram famous” doppelgänger Olivia Sturgiss met Taylor Swift, but I don’t think they look all that much alike so BFD. [Billboard]

Caitlyn Jenner apologized for saying “if you look like a man in a dress, it makes people uncomfortable” in her recent Time interview.

Jenner wrote on her website:

This week a lot of attention was brought to my comments in my TIME interview, in which I said that my appearance is important to me, that I want people to be at ease when they encounter me, and that people are still uncomfortable if a trans person looks like “a man in a dress.”
I think I caused a lot of hurt with this comment, and I’m truly sorry.
What I was trying to say is that our world really is still a binary one, and that people who look “visibly transgender” sometimes can struggle for acceptance and may be treated poorly by others. And while this may be true, it’s also something that needs to change.

  • “TOO SOON,” shrieks Jennifer Lawrence about the Hunger Games prequels. [MTV]
  • Tina Fey revealed that Colin Quinn once called her a cunt, but they’re cool now. [NYDN]
  • But, like, Kourtney Kardashian and Justin Bieber probably are hooking up, though. [TMZ]
  • Kristin Cavallari is finding solace in her newborn daughter in the wake of her brother’s passing. [THG]
  • SCREAM: Adele got a haircut and/or took her extensions out. [Dlisted]

Contact the author at [email protected].

Images via The Revenant/20th Century Fox and Instagram.

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