R.I.P. Rachel Meghan Markle, the lifestyle blogger from Cali who held a suitcase for Deal or No Deal and grew up on Baywatch, who was murdered by Buckingham Palace’s “about” page in May 2018 and laid to rest somewhere in rural Scotland wrapped in a Union Jack. Greetings, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, who has risen from the ashes of a heap of incinerated Tostitos with a newly-minted British affectation:
British tabloids are mystified as to how “oh, did you!,” “yes, we all had a great day, I think,” “very lucky all around,” and “like today almost, yes?” sound British to Americans, as though a certain royal coach drafted a list of phrases that are okay to say out loud and then made her repeat them with marbles in her mouth every day for six months until she would NEVER EVER EVER speak of penis hats again. Just a thought.
America’s queen, long may she rule:
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