Our history is full of valiant and resolute explorers who ventured out into the vast unknown to better understand this little planet we call home—and also for their own personal gain.
Along the way those brave adventurers made some important discoveries. However, a look back reveals an inescapable pattern of people discovering places, people and things that had already been “discovered,” in the sense that people were living their lives in those places with those things before the sudden arrival of a white guy with a flag.
Let us now take some time to trace the history of the repeat discovery of a body part that many women noticed right after they hit puberty, looked down and realized that their lives would be a never-ending quest to find the perfect pair of jeans that don’t gap at the waist.
September 17 2014: The New York Times discovers the ass
November 11 2014: The Associated Pressdiscovers the ass
This storied history is currently bookended by a woman whose life source is fed by the attention of others. Kim Kardashian’s unoriginal and problematic Paper cover is the latest reminder that wowzers, big butts exist. So yes, world, Kim’s ass is still there and it’s still big. What an important discovery for mankind.
