Our history is full of valiant and resolute explorers who ventured out into the vast unknown to better understand this little planet we call home—and also for their own personal gain.
Along the way those brave adventurers made some important discoveries. However, a look back reveals an inescapable pattern of people discovering places, people and things that had already been “discovered,” in the sense that people were living their lives in those places with those things before the sudden arrival of a white guy with a flag.
Let us now take some time to trace the history of the repeat discovery of a body part that many women noticed right after they hit puberty, looked down and realized that their lives would be a never-ending quest to find the perfect pair of jeans that don’t gap at the waist.
4000 BC: Adam discovers the ass
3050 BC: The Egyptians the ass
2000 BC: The Mayans discover the ass
121: Marcus Aurelius discovers the ass
436: Attila the Hun discovers the ass
1021: The Vikings discover the ass
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