Stand by for an unbrolievable bronouncement, bros — using a top secret (but chill, always totally chill) metric, I have open on my browser (bro-wser) this very minute, a list of the top 18 broverwhelmingly bro-friendly cities in the US. Up top!
According to real estate firm Estately, a city’s bro-friendliness can be ascertained using a variety of factors — from famous brolumni to the presence of a college with NCAA ranked lacrosse teams to the cost of living (bros are used to the finer things, which they will drunkenly smash after losing a game of Flippy Cup). Throw it all together with some ice, put it in a big fuckin’ cooler, and out of the spigot and into the red Solo cup of your brain comes the most brodelic places in this great country of ours.
[Side note: Despite the fact that despite certain recent efforts to define and quantify bro-dom, I’m not confident that “bro” has much time left before its ubiquity dooms it to the oblivion that comes with being overused by people who don’t understand its nuances. Like “hipster.” Yes, “bro” is endangered, but until it dies out and without further ado, here are the top ten most bro-friendly cities, followed by any anecdata I’ve personally gathered to support this prognosis. Prog-bro-sis? Okay, I’ll stop.]
10. Durham, NC
I used to know a bro who wore UNC warm up pants to bed. And to class. Well, he wore them everywhere. Once he tore them off at a party. It was mildly amusing.
9. Austin, TX
Never been but the Austin season of The Real World sucked.
8. State College, PA
Remember when Joe Paterno was fired from being the coach of the Penn State football team and the bros got super sad/rioty?