College Debate Whiz Ted Cruz Has Some Neat Ideas About Regrowable Hymens


Ted Cruz, manna from the sky for political hatewatchers, is a veritable fount of bombastic crazy, and has been since his college debate years. And we’re all better for it.

In a look at Cruz’s time at Princeton in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, the New York Times’ Jason Horowitz uncovers some interesting tidbits and ideas once expressed by the masterdebater. Like just about everything about champion dudefighter Ted Cruz, the entire piece is worth a read. But as a lady, a few bits really stuck out.

On Cruz’s circa-1992 musical tastes:

“[Cruz] was an extreme fan of the ‘Les Misérables’ soundtrack,” [Debate teammate Stephen] Wunker said.

On how circa-1992 Ted Cruz felt about letting women do stuff:

When an Amherst team argued at a tournament in 1989 that Ricky Ricardo should have let Lucy work, Mr. Cruz said, in an incensed voice: “Well, guess what, I’m Cuban! And no self-respecting Cuban man of the era would let his wife work.”

(Cruz’s stance on wives having jobs seems to have since evolved significantly.)

On how circa-1992 Ted Cruz joked he thought God should have made the female body:

In one debate, [Cruz] proposed a method to detect infidelity, in which God should “give women a hymen that grows back every time she has intercourse with a different guy, because that will be a ‘visible sign’ of the breach of trust,” according to a recollection by David Kennedy published in a Harvard debate team reunion booklet in 2001.
Mr. Kennedy’s debate partner mocked Mr. Cruz’s knowledge of the subject matter by contorting herself to see how the anatomy in question could be “visible,” according to the booklet.

Ted Cruz’s brain is like Joan Rivers’ card towering catalog, overflowing with topical and hilarious zingers I’m sure are just waiting to be unleashed, and I, for one, can’t wait to hear more great comedy from him. Bring on the GOP debates.

Image via Getty.

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