Hey, girlfriend! Did you know that teens now have a totally phat new word for getting an abortion? According to About.com the proper term is “hoovering,” and kids today think it’s the cat’s pajamas!
FunnyOrDie.com spotted this entry in About.com’s “Teen Slang Dictionary”:
Uh, what? We hate to question About.com’s accuracy, particularly since they’ve finally filled us in on the meaning of “hello.” However, maybe we should investigate this claim before some anti-choice group latches onto this as evidence that teen girls are now flippant about the extremely difficult decision to terminate a pregnancy.
Here’s Urban Dictionary’s top definition for “Hoovering”:
Perhaps the sensitive soul who concocted the sentence “Last night, Blake was hoovering me all night!” didn’t want to bring up such a delicate topic, but the third definition does list its meaning as,
This has been voted down in the past six years, but was it ever really popular? A Google search of the words “hoovering” and “abortion” turns up references to J. Edgar Hoover and Marilyn Monroe’s “Abortion Agony,” a conservative commenter who claims political strategist Margaret Hoover is “pro-abortion and pro gay marriage,” and an article in which Maureen McCormick (better known as Marcia Brady) says, “They would call me ‘The Hoover’ because of how much cocaine I would do.”
Based on this extensive research, we’re prepared to say that “hoovering” is not a tremendously popular term among teenagers. We know you were just trying to help parents understand what their kids are talking about, since,
But allow us to “communitcate” in terms you’d understand: Word up, About.com. This may seem like a no brainer, but we’ve got to keep it real. You probably think your dictionary is all that and a bag of chips, but flash — we think the person who wrote this must have been tripping.
A Teen Slang Dictionary [About.com via FunnyOrDie.com]
Hoovering [Urban Dictionary]
Hoovering AND Abortion [Google]