Gritty, I Do


Gritty is the one good thing in a world full of political nightmares, impending climate disaster, and the Pete Davidson/Ariana Grande breakup, so it is with great pleasure that I report on the existence of this Gritty groom’s cake, which popped up at a wedding over the weekend.

Indeed, it appears the Philadelphia Flyers mascot’s resplendent, furry orange face took center stage at a Pennsylvania wedding on Saturday, courtesy of Landsdowne, Pennsylvania bake shop Kia’s Cakes & Cafe. Though the shop seems to think the cake is the stuff of “nightmares,” to me, it is the stuff of dreams. Find yourself a groom who looks at you with half as much rapture as Gritty holds in just one unblinking carrot-colored iris, why don’t you.

This is passion. This is beauty. This is love.

If you too choose to grace your wedding, funeral, or bar mitzvah with Gritty’s effusive likeness, do be sure to eat this chaotic good with care. We need Gritty to keep up the good fight against fascists, plushies, and people who participate in stupid halftime competitions.

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