Here's the Hideous Naked Demon Birkin Bag Kanye Got Kim for Christmas

CelebritiesDirt Bag

This Christmas, Kanye West got Kim Kardashian a one-of-a-kind Birkin bag. It is one-of-a-kind because it bears a customized mural of a psychosexual nightmare loosely based on the monkey Jesus fresco and/or The Mask starring Jim Carrey (a seminal art film).

Here’s what it looks like in the context of reality:

The bag has been hand-painted by George Condo, a very respected contemporary American artist who also did the artwork for My Beautiful, Dark Twisted Fantasy. In other words, gazing upon it is the opposite of an Oprah giveaway: YOU don’t get art, and YOU don’t get art, and YOUUUU don’t get art! [Gossip Cop, images via Instagram and Splash News]

Courtney Love encourages us all to forgive our ex-lovers this New Years’ Eve, which is sound advice, I guess. She posted the following missive on Facebook:

“become best friends and to make sure your exes dont all hate you. its
important to leave romances nicely — and its 2014 so im letting alot of
grudges just go, i dont have time . . . none of it matters — thank you
dave navvaroo [Dave Navarro] and peter mensch . . . so to everyone take
my advice, lose the grudges and grudge matches first of all youll make
alot more money if that doesnt incentivise you, youll just be happier
and get kissed more.”

I don’t know, my festering resentment has paid the bills ok so far. [Page Six]

Celebrity Instagram comment sections are a special circle of hell (except for the one Kim Kardashian photo whose comment section is just a big debate about the Illuminati). On one of Selena Gomez‘s
pictures, one fan told another fan to cut herself. Selena Gomez
herself intervened, writing, “This is ridiculous. My fans don’t do this
to others. That’s not what I stand for so you can gladly stop being a
fan of me…” And to the fan who’d been told to cut herself: “You are
gorgeous just the way you are. Don’t ever attempt that shit again.
Ok? I love you too much for you to be doing that.” YOU TELL THEM, SELENA. [ONTD]

In much more dubious news, there’s a rumor going around that Selena Gomez is taking time off from touring because she has lupus. Her rep has declined to comment, so it’s completely unsubstantiated — if it is true, though, I hope that she’s able to get the medical attention she needs. [Popdust]

  • BOTH of the men with whom tabloids have invented that Khloe Kardashian is “rebounding” were at her Christmas party. An true embarrassment of riches. [Radar]
  • Kaley Cuoco and her fiance “KILLED IT” this Christmas. How would you say you did? My family members told me Steve Jobs’ entire life story twice, so I think I did pretty well myself. [E!]
  • Kristen Stewart smiled. [E!]
  • Lady Gaga says that she found love with her current boyfriend Taylor Kinney: “Men weren’t always happy for me. It was very challenging to watch a woman be so successful.” [E!]
  • Caroline Manzo‘s dog died on Christmas 🙁 I have no idea who that is (DOES THAT MAKE ME UNAMERICAN?) but I am very sad for her. [Gossip Cop]
  • Aww, look at this princes hugging. I don’t think William is that into it. Very limp grasp. [Just Jared]
  • Zayn Malik from One Direction wants to reassemble the band Journey for his wedding to Perry Edwards. The band’s lead singer hasn’t been on stage for 17 years, but Zayn will not relinquish his dream. According to an insider, “Zayn is hopeful Journey will be there in some guise.” What kind of guise? Wizard robes? I hope it’s wizard robes. [ONTD]
  • Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick got an artisanal cat. [OK!]
  • Paris Hilton is one of the top 5 DJs in the world. It is good to see a made-up person excelling in a made-up profession. [TMZ]
  • No one went to see Justin Bieber‘s new documentary on Christmas morn. What the hell else were you all doing? Enjoying the company of your respective families?! What kind of excuse is that!!! [ONTD]
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