Jeremy Renner Cancels 'Jeremy Renner'

By Maria Sherman | September 5, 2019 | 3:17pm

Celebrities

Jeremy Renner, also known as the guy I could not identify in Avengers: End Game, has deactivated his app, famously titled “Jeremy Renner.” Why do the good die so young?

Renner announced the news on Wednesday, September 4, in a font I can’t quite place but might actually be Papyrus. He opened with, “The App has jumped the shark. Literally,” a hilarious but clearly non-literal image. His reason for shuttering the project appears to be “clever individuals who were able to manipulate ways to impersonate me and others within the app.” Fair enough.

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As the Outline put it, “Jeremy Renner” wasn’t just an app, it was “a bizarre and obsessive community for fans to catch up on exclusive content, share horny Renner memes, or find out when it’s Rennsday. (Typically this falls on Wednesday, but sometimes it does not.)” That alone makes me sad I never took the time to explore Jeremy Renner, the app.

An alternate theory for why Jeremy Renner shuttered “Jeremy Renner” is that Renner’s little hands made it a struggle to be on an app all day.

Or maybe it’s just that he needed the time to focus on his rock music, like many other middle aged, critically-acclaimed white actors do, and which I am now burdening you with:

Happy listening.