Next Stop on the Glasgow Wonka Experience: The US of A, Baby

On Tuesday, the Daily Record broke the news that the one, the only, the Glasgow Willy Wonka Experience—reviled by local parents, remembered by the terminally online everywhere—is set to make its return. The “immersive event” organized by a group called “House of Illuminati” has lived in internet infamy since its debut in February, when it charged $44 for all the makings of the fictional chocolatier’s world yet delivered little but an inflatable castle and forlorn Oompa Loompas in an eerie warehouse just outside the port city. It was abruptly shut down after authorities were called.

Now, in an exclusive interview with the Scottish newspaper, one of those forlorn Oompa Loompas, Kirsty Paterson, has revealed that the experience will return on April 28 with a new location: Los Angeles.

“I didn’t really expect to end up in the USA or to go as big as this because the USA is on a different level,” Paterson said. “When I was a kid I always said my dream job would be a children’s TV presenter and that’s now a possibility.” Dreams? They’re coming true, people.

Hey everyone, remember that hilariously insane Wonka experience in Glasgow over a month ago? Well, there will be an LA event, 'Willy's Chocolate Experience' on April 28th. For the shits and giggles, I reviewed the Eventbrite registration and they make reference that Timothée… pic.twitter.com/kLZi6dlOXt

— Club Chalamet 💫 (@ClubChalamet) April 10, 2024

Paterson shot to internet stardom after this photo of her as an Oompa Loompa emerged, and apparently, she’s earned top billing for the Los Angeles event for which tickets are once again being sold for $44.

“Following its groundbreaking success in Glasgow, this fantastical event promises an immersive journey into the whimsical world of ‘Willy’ Wonka, featuring the notorious Scottish Oompa Loompa, Kirsty Paterson…” the Eventbrite page reads. According to the Daily Record, they’ll also be a live Q&A and photo-session with Paterson the “mother Oompa Loompa with a heart of gold.” However, that’s not even the most bizarre part.

Among the “plethora of enchanting attractions” set to take place at a “nondescript” warehouse in downtown Los Angeles (including DJ sets and film screenings), Nathan Fielder and Zach Galifianakis are also advertised to hold a Q&A session. About what exactly? Who’s to say! Frankly, I wouldn’t be one bit surprised if they took this bit as far as not showing up at all.

If you asked me, I think the venue is pretty fitting. There are plenty of parts of Los Angeles in which I’ve found myself spending too much money and surrounded by forlorn Oompa Loompas and a partially deflated castle. Frankly, Timothée Chalamet has the opportunity to do the funniest thing possible and just show up as Mr. Wonka himself. We all know Club Chalamet will probably be there just in case…