Sarah Palin Hates Alaska, Abortion Equally

By Megan Carpentier | April 16, 2009 | 2:00pm

Sarah Palin is taking time off from her busy schedule not pushing legislation in Alaska to headline an “anti-abortion banquet” in Indiana, because that’s way more important than her (current) job. [UPI]
Speaking of jobs, Palin’s dad thinks Levi Johnston ought to try getting one so he can buy diapers; Dad is conveniently forgetting that quitting school to get a job Palin’s behest was what got Levi fired from his last gig in the first plae. [Us Weekly]
Palin’s best buddy, Joe the Plumber, swears that saying, “In God We Trust” will get you shot in some places in America. Oh, Joe, if only. [Washington Independent]
Some Republicans are finally admitting that Norm Coleman‘s pursuit of a shady legal OP has about judges enforcing rather than making laws again. [Huffington Post]
Another Republican, Dick Armitage, says he should’ve resigned from the Bush Administration over its love of torture. Too little, too late, bucko. [Huffington Post]
Former GOP Representative and current Washington conservative “think” tanker Pat Toomey announced he’s going to challenge Arlen Specter in next year’s primary. Expect Specter to head right, Toomey to win, Specter to pull a Lieberman and the Democrats to still mess it all up. [NY Times]
Rick Perry wants Texas to secede because it’s the only way his dumb-ass will attain higher office. [Time]
If you’re black and live in Florida, don’t plan on moving because Republicans there plan to use that to throw out your ballot. [NY Times]
The NSA continues to spy on everything and everyone without a care in the (legal) world. They’ve even taken to spying on Congressmen. [NY Times]
If you’re a terrorist, now’s the time to get a passport from the State Department, before they stop fucking up. Just kidding! They’re not going to stop fucking up. [Washington Post]
President Obama is in Mexico today, but it’s not a vacation. He’s not George Bush, after all.) [CBS News]
Obama is going to keep some of the CIA torture memos classified. [Wall Street Journal]
And he’s rich, beeyotch. [Reuters]
The Bidens aren’t doing too bad, either. [UPI]
By the way, unemployment is at 8.5%. [Wall Street Journal]
In foreign news, Vietnam seeks to ban dancing in karaoke bars, India is having an election and Spain isn’t going to prosecute Bushies for the whole torture thing. [Huffington Post, Huffington Post, MSNBC]
Aw, but Michelle Obama sent a kid who offered her a free puppy a nice letter. [UPI]