Lexi, on the other hand, clearly thinks Lacey is an idiot. She would like it very much if Lacey just left her the fuck alone, thank you very much. Is there no end to the judgmental shaming cats inflict upon those around them? But luckily Lacey is too goddamn happy that there is a CAT IN THIS HOUSE OMG and can’t stop being excited long enough to notice the cat hates her guts.
By the way, did you see the giant pile of dog toys they have for Lacey? I also have a giant, ever-growing pile of dog toys for my dog, too. It’s not wasteful indulgence, OK? To her, every single toy serves a specific purpose. There is the snuggling toy, the chewing toy, the throwing toy, etc. etc. We actually believe that the toys serve as an elaborate system of communication for her. I think each toy has a specific meaning for her. It’s her way of engaging in conversation. We see “stinky chewed up fuzzy green bone you just dropped in my lap” but really it’s “ARE THERE ANY OF THOSE DOG TREATS LEFT? I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE THE BAG IS, I’VE BEEN STARING AT IT ALL DAY. I THINK I COULD HANDLE ONE BEFORE BEDTIME. I PROMISE IT WON’T MAKE ME HAVE TO POOP AT 4 AM LIKE LAST TIME.”
Like the time we left her alone and accidentally left Fox News on the TV. That wasn’t an “old ripped up bunny with a missing eye,” it was “HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS BENGHAZI THING? THE LIBERAL MEDIA IS TRYING TO COVER IT UP, BUT THE PRESIDENT NEEDS TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS!”