Shut Up Taylor Swift, Everybody Hated 2017


2017 was not a good year. In the last twelve months, the United States has been plagued by hurricanes, wildfire, gunfire, and a group of meglomaniacs hellbent on dismantling social safety nets so they can get tax breaks on their private jets. Billionaires destroyed media companies. Ice shelves cracked. Tom Petty died. The Great British Bake Off imploded. But it appears Taylor Swift had a super swell time while the rest of us suffered nightly panic attacks, thanks very much, and she couldn’t have asked for a better year!

Swift posted about her wonderful 2017 on Instagram on Wednesday, just a few days after playing a show in London. “I love you guys so much,” she wrote. “I couldn’t have asked for a better year, all thanks to you.” In all fairness, it was her birthday, but on my birthday I blacked out and cried and Taylor should have, too.

Billboard points out that Swift did, in fact, have a pretty good year, considering her new album, Reputation, has basically been at the top of the charts since it was released last month, plus she’s allegedly in an “awesome” relationship with boyfriend Joe Alwyn, how lucky for her. And yet, it’s hard to imagine even the happiest of life circumstances trumping the total trash storm that otherwise constituted this particular orbit around the sun.

Anyway, undoubtably 2018 will be worse, so perhaps Taylor Swift will get married.

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