Stick A Fork In Freddy Rodriguez


…Pretending to be a Dangerous Gangster in 2005’s Christ-awful Havoc. Last night I watched a Godfather marathon on AMC with the aid of a lot of scotch; Katie saw this. What random things are you watching on your relatives’ cable?

And, like, The Godfather certainly is not by any stretch a bad movie, but what was weird was seeing promos the whole way through it for tonight’s AMC Movie Special: Deep Blue Sea, in which I think LL Cool J plays a marine biologist or something. Post your film criticism and odd clips in the comments; I’m kicking us off with this amazing montage someone made of Havoc and set to that “What About Us” song. Which I had forgotten existed until now (OMG t.A.T.u!!!). Fleeting glimpses of Naïve Rich Chick Anne Hathaway‘s boobies around 2:04, in case any of you poor suckers are at work. (WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT WORK?)

I’m partial, whenever I encounter it, to the 1998 action-adventure movie Deep Rising, which stars the overlooked New Zealand actor Cliff Curtis. It is noteworthy perhaps most of all for the fact that Curtis, who is often cast as Middle Easterners and South Americans of various stripes (you may remember him as Pablo Escobar in Blow), actually plays a Maori in it. (Curtis is Te Arawa and Ngati Hauiti.) If I recall correctly, unless I’m getting it confused with some other Cliff Curtis movie about a stricken cruise ship under attack from deep-sea worm thingees, at a climactic moment, he does a haka to try and scare off the monsters. If anyone could find that on the YouTubez I’d, like, love you forever.

Weird T.V. is one of the richest pleasures of the holidays; let it and booze see you safely through this evening. Tomorrow, MorningGloria will have her way with you lesbian bonerkiller feminazi shitass whore whore sluts. Happy Leftovers Weekend!

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