Eff this tweet, eff April Fools Day, and eff James Comey!:
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- Ted Cruz thinks he’s funny. [Ted Cruz]
- A lawsuit against Holland Christian High School—Betsy DeVos’s alma mater—illustrates how DeVos’s new Title IX policies are making it harder for victims of sexual assault to seek justice. [The New York Times]
- The Supreme Court’s conservative majority just essentially legalized torture and authorized a lethal injection that will cause a man on death row to suffocate to death while he bleeds out. [Slate]
- Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen is requiring more asylum seekers to stay in Mexico. [Politico]
- Will comedian Volodymyr Zelenskiy become Ukraine’s next president? [The New Republic]
- After weeks of mass protests, Algeria’s president, Abdelaziz Bouteflika, will step down in April after twenty years of rule. [The Guardian]
- A longtime White House security adviser, Tricia Newbold, told Congress that the Trump administration reversed 25 security clearance denials, which have exposed national security secrets. [Washington Post]
- A group of Senate Democrats are planning to introduce a constitutional amendment to abolish the Electoral College. [Politico]
Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.
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