The Future is Now: You Can Design and 3D Print Your Very Own Dildo

It has become very clear over the course of history that the dildo is truly pinnacle of technological determinism as we know it. YAASSS GAGA.

A brilliant programmer Ikaros Kappler has built www.dildo-generator.com, a website that allows users to design their own sex toy(s). Sure, 3D printed sex toys are nothing new, but this is pretty damn user friendly. You can toggle with the width and length, as well as the bézier curves, angle, how it bends and you can choose from a handful of different colors. Why, you can even upload your own background! (Though I’m not certain how exactly how that translates when the dildo itself when it’s printed out.)

You can either 3D print that shit out yourself—the program will provide an estimated weight in silicone—or if you don’t have access to a printer, Kappas suggests enlisting the help of some tiny Hackerspaces in Berlin that have printers to order a mold and/or silicon models. Or perhaps you can take it to your local 3D printer if you’re not, you know, in Germany.

As far as design options go, it’s pretty simple and straightforward. And really really fun. I definitely got lost in there for a while (at least an hour), trying to make a design that at least vaguely resembled a dolphin—utter fail. So seriously, have a blast.