The Halsey and G-Eazy Explainer You Never Knew You Needed and Probably Don't Want

By Harron Walker | July 23, 2018 | 8:40pm

Entertainment

Oh, wow! Page Six is reporting that Halsey’s been leaving comments on G-Eazy’s Instagram! The power this has… The impact this has… The influence this has… The international implications this has…

What we are even talking about:

Halsey’s been leaving comments on G-Eazy’s Instagram!!

Who the hell they are:

Halsey, aka 23-year-old Ashley Frangipane, is a singer-songwriter from New Jersey who did that song that’s like “weed and Biggie and Nirvanaaaa” and one time told her fans to stop being mean to her because she’d had a very busy day, too. Her song with Lauren from Fifth Harmony is really good!

G-Eazy is a man named Gerald. He’s from California. He’s 28. He’s had some songs that were popular, but much like Ed Sheeran, I couldn’t for the life of me name most of them. There was one he did with Camila Cabello after she left Fifth Harmony… or maybe it was before? The song used a sample from—NO WAIT, I’m thinking of Machine Gun Kelly. G-Eazy did a song with Cardi B last year that was popular. Think he’s got one with Bebe Rexha right now… wait, fuck, that was three years ago.

Do they have an anagram:

Their combined names are an anagram for “lazy eye hags.”

“Hazy gay eels,” too.

Fuck!

I know.

What their deal is:

Right, so, they used to date for a while and even did a song together, but they broke up earlier this month. Halsey told her fans that they were “taking some time apart.” But then on Sunday, G-Eazy Instagrammed a photo of himself performing live at some concert and captioned it “Big Dick Energy,” and th—

—Yes, he captioned it “Big Dick Energy.”

Why that’s the opposite of big dick energy:

I mean, I’m not “big dick energy” creator Kyrell Grant, so I can’t really say for sure. But no, I don’t think it is. So, G-Eazy posted this photo of himself and captioned it “Big Dick Energy,” and then Halsey left a comment on it: “☁️ ”

Whether that’s flirting:

Honestly, no? I don’t know, she could be flirting, but flirting via Instagram comment out in the open like that—as opposed to silently liking a hot selfie from like four months ago and then dying from shame and regret like a normal person—would be really fucking bold. I guess some fans thought she was being shady or whatever—possibly because Gerald was recently spotted holding hands with Demi Lovato at a club in LA, though he maintains she’s “just a friend”—but Halsey clarified in the comments that there was “no petty here.”

Why you should care:

Figure that out for yourself, Marie.