Tips For Removing Goo Buildup On Tables And Cleaning Spice Grinders

Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her.

My husband cleans too much. I know that sounds like a non-problem, and generally it is, but I believe this excessive cleaning has destroyed our side tables. We have three run-of-the-mill side tables, which we purchased at Crate & Barrel a few years ago. I think we paid about $300 for each of them, so we aren’t talking heirloom quality stuff here, but it’s also not something I would just discard and replace. They are wood tables, but it’s only Crate & Barrel, so I have to assume there is at least a little MDF under the surface somewhere. For some reason, my husband feels it’s necessary to clean them with Pledge nearly every single day. I was annoyed with this custom because it seemed to me to be a waste of time, but now I am mad because it seems to have left a residue on each of my lovely tables—a goo of sorts.

My first course of action was to try to clean it off with Goo Gone. That sort of worked, but the goo comes back every time he cleans. In some cases, it just looks dull in certain areas (which, by the way, migrate each time he cleans the table) and in other cases it is a splotchy, thicker goo that seems like you should be able to chisel it off. (You can’t.) Any advice? And if you are able to recommend a remedy, how would you recommend we clean them in the future to avoid this happening again?

Today is a sad day for me. Because today is the day that I have to concede that there is such a thing as too much cleaning.

I hate today.

But one of my goals when writing these columns is to always be honest with you, even if that means I have to tell you an item is a goner, or that cleaning something is going to suck royal rear end, or—as is the case today—I have to admit to a fact of life that is exceedingly painful for me to even consider. So there you have it.

The good news is that getting rid of that goo is a pretty easy fix, and there is definitely a way to prevent it from coming back. Oh also: the thing that’s causing the goo is the silicone that’s in Pledge. I was so glad to see that the LW mentioned the specific product being used on the tables because it allowed me to immediately identify what the problem was. Thank you, LW!

There are a couple of methods you can use to remove the silicone buildup, but regardless of which one you choose, the first step will be to dust the furniture using a microfiber cloth. The reason for this is that, before you begin the goo removal process, you want to be sure that there’s no residual dirt hanging around, which can cause scratching as you remove the polish buildup. Now, in the case of these specific tables I think it’s safe to say that they’re dirt-free, since they’ve been dusted within an inch of their lives, but for the rest of you who may have a similar problem the first step is important to know about.

In terms of goo removal, the cheapest and easiest way is to use our old pal white vinegar. Mix the vinegar with equal parts water and, using a soft cloth dipped in the solution and wrung out well, wipe with the grain of the wood. This will likely take several passes, and you should be sure to wring the cloth out well—you don’t want to saturate the wood with liquid. Once you’re happy with that the buildup is no longer, dry the tables thoroughly.

Now, it may be that the vinegar is not enough to touch the amount of goo you’ve got going on, or it may be that you just hate the smell of vinegar. In either case, Guardsman makes a product called Purifying Furniture Wood Cleaner that will remove the buildup. You can also use mineral spirits, which can be found at any hardware or home improvement store. If you go that route there are a few important things to know: You must must must test it first on a hidden portion of the table to be sure it won’t damage the wood; you must work in a ventilated area and use protective gloves; when applying mineral spirits, use a soft cloth and wipe with the grain of the wood, then wipe the product off immediately with a clean, soft cloth dampened with water and dry the table immediately. Oh also, mineral spirits are highly flammable. Given all that, I’d really prefer to get you into the vinegar or Guardsman, but some people really enjoy taking unnecessary risks and we’re all adults with free will, so.

Once you’ve un-goo’d the tables, you can absolutely prevent the goo from re-gooing, but you’re going to have to lay down two laws with your husband.