Cara Delevingne Bleached Her Famous Eyebrows

Cara Delevingne, a model famed for her all-natural face-merkins, has done the unthinkable: for fashion reasons, she has doused those face-merkins in bleach, rendering them invisible to the naked eye. What is a human without eyebrows? Just a thinking reed, but, like, a bald one. Just a fleshy oval attached to a corporeal prison, floating upon a sea of nothingness.

This was for the Givenchy show. Everyone at the Givenchy show had bleached eyebrows, including but not limited to Kendall Jenner. Fashion will not stop trying to make bleached eyebrows happen. So far, it has not caught on, but you never know what the future may bring. It took a long time for fashion-Tevas to become popular, and here we are.

(Fortunately, the brows made a triumphant return after being entombed in hair chemicals; they looked particularly lustrous on the Saint Laurent runway today. And thus order is restored to our planet of ceaseless strife and chaos.)